using a Christmas present

My mom sent me a pressure cooker for Christmas. I have no experience with them. I am trying butternut squash soup as the first dish.

Entertaining myself

I'm home sick so I have been entertaining myself. I watched Forks Over Knives which I highly recommend. And I am reading Pride Prejudice and Zombies. I downloaded it from Amazon. I just started it but it seems like it may be entertaining enough for a sick day. But Forks Over Knives is a must see even if you're not sick.

Question (updated)

Is it too much to want to be with your best friend and have physical chemistry? Marty says you can't have everything. That there is always something. 

Present

The Detroit is already starting with the texts...Marry Christmas. And then, I owe you a present. Of course, I texted, "no u don't" he says he wants to. The best thing about is not so much what it is as from whom it comes. Presents from a person you don't even know or to whom you have no connection are meaningless but presents from someone you love mean everything no matter how small, how big, how expensive or not...It's just wonderful that someone you love thought of you.

Dedee's laugh

When Dedee was asking me about the Detroit guy and what has transpired. I told her about him lying to me about his age. She said she thought men didn't usually lie about their age. I told her that it seems like it would make sense for someone to lie and say he's older than he is and then I might think WOW, this guy looks great for his age. She said she thinks age shouldn't matter if you really like the person. I told I don't have any interest in him because he seems arrogant. He keeps bringing up all the property he owns and how fortunate he's been. I told him just because some guy has money doesn't mean I am going to get any of it so that doesn't matter to me. And, prior to me meeting him for coffee he told me several time in telephone conversations that he thought I would be very pleased with his physical appearance when we met. That's when Dedee just started laughing the biggest richest laugh I have ever heard. Then I started laughing. She said, "Boy, that guy is really full of himself." I told that I have never had someone say that to me and I have never told anyone that Man or woman that I he or she would be pleased with me physically when we met. It's odd. I told Dedee maybe he is some kind of narcissist or something.

Marty and I had the same conversation but I added a few more details since Marty can still hear. My poor Dedee is 88 years old now and our conversations a strained at times due to her loss of hearing but overall we get on fine. I told Marty that the Detroit guy keeps telling me he is an A personality guy. And that I think I am supposed to be impressed but I am not quite sure what my response is supposed to be. Maybe I am supposed to say, "Great, that's the exact kind of man I want and I can't wait to blow you." The Detroit guy also starts sentences with, "To be candid with you..." which leads me to think he generally is not candid. Marty said I should say so and I told Marty that I did say so. I asked the Detroit guy why he frequently start sentences with that preface and he said it was so I would know he's being up front and honest. So I told him that there's no reason I would think he was being anything but honest except that he says, "To be candid with you..." because anytime someone starts a sentence with a phrase like, "To be honest with you...", "In all honesty...", "Honestly...", "Truthfully", etc. I think he/she is lying or has been caught in a lot of lies or has been accused of lying frequently or something because there is no reason to think someone is being anything but honest with me unless I have had an bad experience with the person due to some lie I was told by them or I caught the person in a lie or heard them lying someone. Marty said he agreed with me with regard to the guy saying, "To be candid with you...". Marty got a pretty big kick out of the guy saying I would be pleased with his physical appearance when we met since Marty thinks the guy looks 75 years old. Marty asked me what I said when the guy said I was going to be pleased and I told him I just said, "Me too." I didn't know what else to say. I was taken off guard since no one has ever said that me. Marty said he didn't know how would react if a woman said that to him because he's never had a woman say that to him. He thinks he would probably be at a loss for words. Marty said something about the A personality statements that was derogatory and finished with telling me to cut the guy loose. It's hard to tell someone on Christmas Eve or Christmas day that you're just not interested in any kind of relationship with him. Marty says I should say I met someone or I;m getting back with an ex (that would be difficult since I don't have one) or that I have decided to hook up with some other guy so as to avoid hurt feelings. I had hoped that he would simply lose interest in me since I have made it clear I don't want to have sex with him. He just says he's hoping I'll change my mind. Yikes. Sometimes, NO IS NO, not SHEnglish for TRY HARDER.

Dedee

My Aunt Dorothy, Dedee, laughed so much when we were catching up this evening. We had a great Christmas Eve catching up on the phone.

My mom's two cents

When I told my mom that Marty found out the Detroit guy has been lying about his age she said 66 is way too old for me and she doesn't even think I should go out with anyone older than me. Then Gil said the Detroit guy is way too old for me and that I should just hit it with Ron and cherish the moments, get it while you can. Then I said, "Did you say cherish? Boy, aren't we romantic." And we cracked up laughing.

Yahoo article

https://www.yahoo.com/style/if-your-guy-does-these-5-things-dont-marry-him-105446894973.html

First time

For the first time, I got a Christmas card from Nick's dad yesterday and then today, I received a Christmas present from him today. 

The sweetest thing

Marty took the kids who are at the shelter in Louisville gift cards. I think that was the sweetest thing.

Detroit guy

Marty didn't believe that the Detroit guy is 60 so he checked online and the Detroit guy is really 66 years old so he lied to me about his age.

Coworker

Harry asked me to come to his house for Christmas and eat lunch. I asked if any men would be there and he said yes so I told him, "No, thanks." He said that I seem to have changed my attitude about men and that all I need is to go to church and find a Christian man for a husband. 

Dinosaurs

Dinosaurs is on Netflix right now. I started watching it and it is so cute and very funny.  Nick used to watch it when he was around two years old. 

So glad

Finally got home from work about 45 minutes ago. What a long day. I brought work home with me so I won't have to go in Christmas Eve of Christmas, well, hopefully. 

BTW

After I got all hot and bothered thinking about a man vacuuming for me I had to go back to my own office to cool off.

My kind of porn

Today, I was telling June my kind of porn would be a man showing up at my apartment to vacuum. Right after I was telling her that I noticed my temperature rose, I told June, "Oh my gosh, I just got hot. I guess the thought of a guy vacuuming for me really is a turn on for me." We started laughing and it really gave me quite thrill. 

White Tiger

http://www.channel101.com/episode/832

Another Channel 101 short

http://www.channel101.com/episode/378

Failed Pilot

http://www.channel101.com/episode/445

Le Typewriter on Channel 101

http://www.channel101.com/episode/756

Why

It is still a mystery to me why people I'm not interested in at all are in me. And it happens to other people not just me. My friends tell me that it happens to them. My friend Joe kept hanging on and hoping that one of his coworkers would fall for him for six years. He would call me and ask me to tell him to just stop. I'd ask if he meant that I should tell him to stop waiting on his coworker to decide he was the one. He would say, "Yes. Tell me to stop wasting my time." Finally, I asked him if he could see himself having a life with her. His answer was a resounding NO. But occasionally and far too Often they end up hanging out and getting shitfaced together then he starts having feelings for her again... Then he calls me up wondering why she has such a hold on him. I always say I guess it's the challenge thing. For some reason he must like the challenge. 

Putting off

I have not been able to discuss my feelings or rather my lack of feelings for the Detroit guy or my friend who thinks we have future with either of them yet. It is weighing me down a bit. It's always difficult to have that talk with someone. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

Might be good

http://www.channel101.com/episode/1370

Black Mirror

Marty told me that he heard Black Mirror is good so I started watching it. It's kind of weird. 

Googled

Marty Googled the Detroit guy and said he looks like he is 75 years old. Now, he knows why I said Jay looks way older than me. Jay is the same age as Marty and he looks way older.

Detroit guy

Marty gave me a little talking to last night and today. He says I need to end it with the Detroit guy. He thinks I should tell him I started dating someone else. 

Last Chuck

I watched the last episode of Chuck today. I miss it already.

Better and better

Still watching Chuck while it rains. And Chuck just keeps getting better and better. I can't even pick a favorite episode there are too many great ones to pick from to choose only one.

Lies

Jay, the Detroit guy, told me that if I am going to date divorced men I should get used to being lied to because guys who were married lie all the time. He says they lie because it became a tactic for avoiding conflict when married. Since men will do anything to avoid conflict they learn to lie so that they aren't confronted by their wives and they can't break the habit even after they're not married anymore. I'm not sure what the silver lining is yet. I can usually find one but it's alluding with regard to men lying.

Vishal

Vishal asked if all the men I am dating are married. I am not dating anyone really. The Detroit guy told me to check the court records so I have proof he is getting a divorce but I don't even care. We won't be going on any more dates since he kisses so delicately that it's almost kissing a girl. The married guy who wants to get divorced and sees a future with me is just thinking that way because we have been friends for a long time and I listen to him. We have never been on a date. My other friend who says I am the one he really loves is not in the running. And Ron, my friend with benefits prospect is on the same page as me. I think.

Forgot

After the guys at work were telling how full of crap I am for saying I have two criteria i told them if a guy doesn't think he can meet the criteria or if thinks I'm asking too much then he need not make application. If he doesn't like the requirements don't apply for the position (no pun intended).

The morning after

The other night we had our department Christmas party. The next morning three of my male coworkers were giving me a hard time. Harold started by telling the Building Official and my supervisor that I have three or four guys after me. And it escalated from there. Most of it stems from my date with the guy from Detroit. I met him through work. So, of course, Harold knows that I had a few dates. I made the point that I am single and can go on as many or few dates as I want (they're all married). After they gave me my fair share of grief while we laughed a lot, for some reason I said something about not being that picky. Then they were all asking what I meant by that because all women are picky. I said, "Not me, I only have two criteria." They accused me of being full of crap. I defended myself. So they asked what my criteria are so I said, "I wanna be with my best friend and there has to be chemistry." My declaration sparked much debate and there were some retorts from folks during the day to which I replied that there are sub-criteria or sub-categories under the criteria of best friend and chemistry." Though I was busier than any one person should be at work it was a fun day. And I like hearing what other people have to say about human interactions. 

Watching Chuck

I'm still watching Chuck on Netflix. And it's a good day for it. The rain is pouring down like it does in Central Oklahoma. It's a good excuse to skip Christmas shopping. I was wondering if you're supposed to believe people when they say, "Don't buy me anything for Christmas." I know when Gil says I shouldn't buy her anything for Christmas but I bought her some Allure lotion anyway last year because I went home for Christmas for the first time in six years. This year I won't be going home or maybe this home. I don't know yet. My says I should stop switching jobs. Though I have had three jobs in six years they have all been within the same retirement system.

Friday Off

This is my second Friday off it's great. 

Christmas

Gil and I didn't actually realize that Christmas is next week until yesterday. I don't know if we are bah humbuggy or what. Gil says she is.

Kiss

Gil and I were talking about chemistry and kissing. When I told her I kissed the Detroit guy and that I didn't really like the way he kissed she literally gasped. I said, "You gasped when I didn't like the way he kissed. It's not like I said my mom has cancer or something." Gil said, "Just forget the whole thing. If he can't kiss good nothing else is going to be good." And I told Gil that the kiss was too delicate. It was gross. Later, I was telling Ron about it and he said, "That's important?" I said, "Yeah." I thought all men knew that kissing is super important. There's no way I could get lost in a kiss if I don't like it. I have to remember to tell Ron that a lot of women put a great deal of stock in kissing and even the first kiss. It's one of those make you or break you moments.

Date number four

I had the fourth date with the Detroit guy last night. I am still on the fence. I noticed he has an old guy butt which is no butt. Maybe he could start riding a bike that might help.

Chemistry

Yesterday, I told Ron that it's peculiar to me that people don't have sexual chemistry with everyone else. It seems like if we as humans had chemistry with all other humans it would be the easy way to perpetuate the continuation of the species . Occasionally, it seems there is some hint of chemistry but then things go south. Unfortunately, it's impossible to know for sure if the sex is any good or not until you're in the middle of the whole thing before you know if it's going to go anywhere or not and then it's too late. And it's so disappointing when the whole prospect blows up in smoke. 

Making fudge

I am making fudge to take to work tomorrow as a Christmas treat.

My favorite day

I love Saturdays. I don't usually go to work and don't have to go to work tomorrow unless I want to go. And I may be able to squeeze in a nap or an outing to a museum. It would be nice have some time with Ron, my friend who might end up a friend with benefits but that's not a for sure thing yet.

Dinner Party

Last night, I went to a fantastic dinner party with the Detroit guy. The food was wonderful and he was fun. It was date number three of the four my Aunt Dorothy said I should relegate to this prospect.

Funny from Huffington

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/12/08/tinder-nightmares-instagram_n_6287812.html

Christmas shows

I have started watching all the Christmas shows;-)

On top of everything else

I've had a little more excitement than I like in the MAN Department lately. Besides the guy who thinks we have future together, the guy who seems to want to get to know me (or at least he is smart enough to act like that long enough to see if I am going to break down and have sex with him) and he is sizing me up, and the guy who would have sex with me if he doesn't meet anyone he is actually interested in, of all things, one of my best friends told me that I am the one he really loves. I can't figure out what the heck is going on lately. Why are men acting so interested in me? Maybe it's the cold weather. Maybe men like to have someone around to keep them warm.

Chuck and Black Beans

This is a great Sunday night. I am watching Chuck which I thoroughly enjoy. I was worried Awesome was killed but he was only kidnapped. I really like Awesome and of course, I like Chuck. Actually, I like everyone on the show. They're all good and bring something to the show. And I am making black beans for tacos. I cook the black beans with lots of onions and put them in corn tortillas with feta cheese, lettuce or spinach and avocado. They're super yummy. It's not quite what I thought I would be doing because I thought I was going to see a friend for a bit. But my plans fell through. hopefully, I'll get to see him soon. I always have a good time with him. 

Out of the blue

It seems that suddenly, or somewhat suddenly, I am getting some attention from men that was not solicited. One man who thinks he has a future with me, one man who is sizing me up, and one man who will have sex with me if he is desperate. Decisions, decisions.

Update on Chuck

If you haven't seen Chuck then you should. It is hilarious. For some reason, maybe because I have watched too many episodes, when I was at work Wednesday the theme song kept running through my mind. And I am not one of those people who thinks I am starring in a movie so there is music playing in the background all the time. It would be nice though. It would be great if dramatic music played when I walk into someone else's office or a meeting so that I know the person or persons are not to be trusted. If I am about to encounter someone sweet and adorable then happy music could play. If I'm about to meet the love of my life, romantic music could be playing in the background so I don't tell the guy to f.o. That would make life so much more simple.

Deede's advice for dating

My Aunt Dorothy, Deede, told me that I should be more interested in how a man treats me than if he has wrinkles, a gut or turkey neck. I know she is right but the main thing seems to be if there is chemistry there or not. She thinks there has to be chemistry too but believes you have to give it four dates to know if there is anything going on in the chemistry department. And I don't know if she thinks chemistry is the most important thing.

Worked late with June on Thursday

Day off

A couple of weeks ago my boss mentioned flex time. At the time, I said sure let's do it. Long story short, I have the day off and I had forgotten until he reminded me yesterday. I am so happy.

Internet dating

When I was getting a massage Sunday the therapist and I started talking, mainly about her. She is separated and has been on POF. She's younger than me by 10 years so that's a good age maybe every guy who asks her out isn't looking for someone to change his diapers. As the conversation went on it turned out that she has been on a lot of dates with men from POF. I started feeling like, "What the f have I been doing with all my time?" She described date after date and told me about a guy she was dating that was very serious and then he stopped calling. She didn't really know what happened. She said she wants to get married. And she is straight up about that when she hooks up with these guys. Also, she is very quick to dismiss someone who wants more children or doesn't fit other criteria she has. It reminded me of shopping with Gil. We would power shop and we were quick to just say no to items that weren't perfect or the right price.

India

I'm on Hangouts with one of my subscribers and he is telling that he just read my latest blogs and the topics are bolder e.g., the one about pubic hair. I told him that Marty and I talk about everything. Marty and I have been friends for more than 20 years and since Marty is a comic he's used to opening up about all kinds of issues. My Indian friend said no one talks about stuff like pubic hair in India. He says he doesn't think guys talk to their girlfriends or wives about things. So I asked if men tell each other what they like and he said yes. I said that's what I figured. 

Waiting

I have been waiting for an update from Marty for hours. I want to know how his date with the long distance woman went.

Explanation

I think I should explain why I said people are so fat and ugly today that they would look better if their genitalia were on their faces. People have gotten so grossly overweight in the United States that their facial features are distorted. You can't even really tell what they look like. I have a couple of friends who lost weight and they don't even look like the same human beings. When I was growing up there was one chubby kid -- whom by today's standards wouldn't even be considered chubby -- in my class/grade and everyone else would be thin, average, normal, etc. But kids didn't snack all day or sit on the arses playing video games all day. We played kick ball, rode bikes, played barbies, played tag, etc. Today, there is one thin kid in class and everyone else is fat. It's unbelievable. I remember thinking the fat girl Annette who would sleep with any guy who would have her, in Saturday Night Fever was disgusting but recently when I saw it on T.V. she doesn't even look chubby let alone fat. When I went to China for an Urban Design Study Abroad one of my guides told me that there aren't many fat Chinese kids but the few chunky, overweight kids are called McDonalds kids. I know it seems like I am being mean and superficial saying people are fat and ugly but in the United States people have gotten so overweight in the last decade or so that they don't even resemble what people used to look like. And many people are obsessed with food. I have worked with people who think about their next meal before they're done with their current meal. It seems like food is the most popular form of entertainment these days. And portions are huge. One entree is enough for two or three or fours meals. When I lived in Corpus Christi it was the fattest city in the U.S. two years in a row. Almost everyone I worked with had diabetes and they just continued to shovel the food in their mouths some of them had to take shots before every meal. The worst thing is that there are still some kids going without food or healthy meals.

Chuck

Before I finish Criminal Minds on Netflix I am starting Chuck. I remember I saw one episode years ago and I liked it.

Carrot

Over the years, guys have thrown a carrot out there on a date that annoys me more than sending back food on a date. And it happened again recently. My date asked me if I like David Yurman -- Google if you don't know -- and alarms went off in my head. First, I think that by asking the guy is inferring that he is thinking of buying you some jewelry so you will fall for it and have sex with him or at the very least, start thinking about it if you can overlook his gut, turkey neck, wrinkles, space in his teeth, crooked penis or whatever flaw he has or perceives that he has. Second, there is no correct response. What response does a man want from a women when he asks id she likes jewelry. I know one woman who does not like jewelry. And she still has some jewelry she just doesn't have a lot of it but what she has is very nice. Third, I think I think it's the equivalent of a woman saying to a man, "Do you like tight pu*@@es?", " Don't tell me you like tight p*@@ies." or "You're kidding you like tight pussies my last boyfriend liked tight p@**ies.", That's how ridiculous it is.

Fight

I thought Marty and I were going to get in a fight about pubic hair yesterday. He thinks it is so gross for women to shave their hair off. I said that I think men like for women to shave. And h said no one he knows like for women to shave. I said everyone I know likes for women to shave and liking pubic hair is a fetish. He said he thinks having pubic hair is normal and human. I said I think people are getting away from the natural look and  not shaving. I said maybe the guys I know who have said they like no pubic hair want to be able to see so they know where everything is. And Marty said he's not sure he wants to see genitalia all that well. He disagreed and said that he thinks Bobcat Goldthwait got it right. Bobcat says if genitalia looked good it would be on your face. And I said that as fat and ugly as people are these days their genitalia probably look better than their faces. 

Catching up

Had the opportunity to catch up with Gil this evening.

Tenth time

Once again I am restoring my computer. It's a bummer. I am wondering how many times I am going to have to do this. Every time things are still jacked up.

Bill Cosby

I asked Marty what he thinks about the Bill Cosby thing and he said that he thinks Bill Cosby is finally getting his due. Years ago when they working in the same place the waitresses hated to have to go any where near Bill Cosby because he would try to grope them and the waitresses thought Bill Cosby was a pig.

Post Thanksgiving

It's Black Friday and I will not be going shopping. I can't imagine wanting anything badly enough to go to a mall, Wal Mart or Target. I am going to list some shoes on ebay, three pairs I have never even worn. 

Why is it so hard

Marty and I were talking and the topic of kissing came up. Neither one of us can figure out why it is so hard to find someone who kisses the way we like. His latest online romance -- if you can call having sex with someone a romance -- opens her mouth too big and rams her tongue down his throat. That's what brought up me saying I think I'm awfully picky for someone who gets so little. It seems like I'd be happy if someone tried to kiss me at all. Or like I'd be overjoyed when someone acts interested in me but if there's no chemistry I can't keep interested. I don't want to have to try to like someone. And Marty said he can't force himself to like someone either. He said he hates feeling like he's forcing something.

This week

I was really stressed out about my son, Nick. I kept reminding him to be aware of his surroundings and to get home from work before dark since he works in Oakland. I'm sick of violence.

Criminal Minds

The stories are enough to discourage ever dating again. It makes me happy I'm too old to attract stalkers anymore. Mostly old guys like me since I'm a spring chicken to guys who are mostly old farts.

Latest addiction

I'm watching Criminal Minds on Netflix now. It's not the best thing to watch before going to sleep at night. 

Got off work early at 4:30

I wish I was making pies but I think I'll just have a beer or hard cider.

strange

I just told Marty it's strange that I am as picky as I am as little as I get.

Left work early at 5:15

I'm usually at work until 6:30 or so sometime 8:00 or 9:00 (that's why salary is not a good idea) but today I left so I could come home and freshen up for my date. It's been a while. I don't really like going on dates. 

Dinner date

Tonight I have my dinner date. My aunt told me that you should go on at least four dates before you decide anything...I'll see how it goes.

Coffee

Over the weekend, I tried almond milk in coffee. It was disruptive to my routine and made my mornings feel incomplete. Yesterday afternoon, I drank a cup of coffee with creamer and it was fantastic. I cam to the conclusion I'm addicted to it. I was trying to give it up but I don't know that I can. It might be easier to give up coffee. I gave up coffee once before and I lost the will to live. It was terrible.

Netflix

I'm watching Dumb and Dumber. It is one of my all time favorites.

Good advice

I got some good advice from a couple of friends today, both men. They're trying help me out of a predicament without losing a good friend. Life is such a roller coaster sometimes.

Gil

Yesterday, Gillian was telling me that we are getting older (Gils's 53 and I'm 52) and that from now on we can look forward to going out with old guys. It was really depressing. On the upswing, I'm thinking that I would like to be an AARP model if this whole city planning thing doesn't work out since I'm not so sure about government work. 

Friends and family

After my coffee date I had to catch up with friends. They had asked for updates. 

Raining

The rain is pouring and it reminds me of the storms in Oklahoma. 

Update

The coffee date went well. We are going to have dinner Monday evening.

Best presentation

The most enlightening presentation at The Texas Big Six Conference yesterday was about El Paso. Though I've read a great deal about El Paso the content of the presentation was very informative and Planning Director did a great job of presenting the information. It was almost enough to make me apply the next time I see a job posted but I have not applied in the past because of all the violence in Ciudad Juarez. The Director did bring up the violence in Cuidad Juarez and the dichotomy between El Paso, the safest city in the U.S. and El Paso but the violence was not emphasized. He spoke of the rich history, Google El Paso or get on the official city website. El Paso is predicted to be a megapolitan city in the U.S. as well the Austin, San Antonio, Houston triangle. At the Los Angeles Planning Conference I attended a session on megapolitan cities that was very informative and data driven. Those clusters will be the best places for jobs and a chance at being middle class in the U.S., that's my opinion anyway. And El Paso  had a Comprehensive Plan in 1928 which I found very interesting and progressive. It was the second city in the U.S. after Cincinnati to have a Comp Plan. I think I'd like to visit El Paso sometime. It might be a good place to do some real estate investing. 

In Houston

At The Texas Big Six conference, drove in the rain but made it. One of the speakers is John Dugan, my former teacher and Planning Director of Oklahoma City. He is in San Antonio now. It's nice to see a familiar face. It's rare for me to see someone I know.

goodnight

Sleep tight

Count down

Anticipating my coffee date Saturday morning.

Coffee date

I'm excited about my coffee date. It's similar to a blind date. Jay's colleagues told him about me. He was intrigued. I asked why his associates would mention me to him and he said he didn't know. He said they weren't trying to fix us up or anything, they just brought me up because of their development plans. It's weird but after I told June that I have a date then she tried to fix me up with someone her husband. I don't really like to date two or three or four guys at the same time. I guess that would be ok if it was really casual but I would rather date someone I feel like spending time with and developing a relationship with.

Time

It's time for yoga so I can regenerate.

I don't usually post recipes but this looks good

http://www.pbs.org/food/fresh-tastes/asparagus-tart/

Medicine

So many things have happened lately that make it abundantly clear to me that our medical policies and system are so screwed up. Additionally, the way doctor's treat illness sucks. Gil keeps getting yanked around about physical therapy (insurance b.s.). Beth's mom is being yanked around about her rehab after suffering a stroke during a quadruple bypass (insurance b.s.). My mom had one procedure done this week that is required so she may or may not have another procedure done. And, with regard to another health issue, she is being told to wait until the blockage in her left carotid gets worse to have surgery, it's only significantly blocked but not 80% blocked which is the tipping point for the surgical insertion of a stint. My mom even said she hopes it won't get worse. Since that sounded like a statement that was based in denial I talked to her about changing her diet more. I think it may have worked. I was just appalled that the doctor said it's not bad enough for surgery yet...Why not try to avoid surgery with some behavioral changes. She needs a lifestyle adjustment.

Looking forward to Saturday

Saturday can't come soon enough. I'm really excited about my date. My mom and friends are pretty excited too. Since I haven't had a date in six months (Memorial Day weekend), I had to answer enough questions to constitute a final exam. At least, I'm getting out there. i haven't been interested in dating anyone really. I was starting to think that I was becoming a lot more like Gillian, who has absolutely no interest in dating. Gil would be happy if we lived out our days manifesting a never ending Golden Girls episode. But Gil has been married twice and has no aspirations in that area. I was married once for two months and that included the time it took to get an annulment. A really embarrassing event. I used to think I would date someone and get married again once Nick was grown but I've only had one boyfriend in the last six years and he wasn't marriage material since it turned out that he was still married to someone else. Yikes. Thankfully that ended anticlimactically. I'm hoping Jay will be someone to go out with when he's in town and that he is fun and doesn't take himself too seriously. I could use some fun and attention.

Hot bath

My muscles are ready for a hot bath.

Update

My date is Saturday, not Friday. I'm excited. And so far, he hasn't gone on and on about his ex-wife. I don't even know her name. That's refreshing because the last few dates I've had I felt like I knew more about the mens' ex-wives than I did them at the end of the evening. Boring!!!

Good workout today

It is so cold that I didn't even want to go outside. Finally, I got the gumption to go over to the gym and workout. I am so glad I did. I used the sauna for the first time and it was nice. Then I decided to tan for a few minutes so but I forgot goggles and my swim suit so I had to wear my bra over my eyes so my lids would not burn (pretty hilarious).

Fading Gigilo

I'm watching Fading Gigilo on Netflix. It looks like it is going to be great.

Date

So I have a date next Friday. Wow!!! Hell must have frozen over. I'm excited. First, I have to get someone else to work out a couple of issues.

Talk about marriage with Marty this morning

Of course I was up at the crack of dawn as usual. I was thinking about the guy who was overtly flirting with me the other night. Some of the questions he asked me were: Are you married? What do you like to do? How far away from the airport are you? Are there things to do in Seabrook? If I have to work the week of Thanksgiving... He definitely was not even trying to play coy or covertly fish for facts. And he told me that people he deals with here in Texas have told him about me. He lives in Detroit and made it a point to tell me that he is in Texas all the time. I was wondering if would be appropriate for me to ask him the same questions, especially since I am his facilitator. I made it a point to tell men in Corpus Christi and Killeen that it was inappropriate for me to eat with them or have a drink with them, yadda, yadda, yadda. Also, in the past, when I have asked men if they were married when they asked me out, they lied. Unless I hire a private dick there is no way I am going to know for sure if a man is lying or not. And, the last guy I went on a few dates with talked about his ex-wife a lot, so, in my mind, he wasn't truly divorced emotionally. He may have been legally divorced -- he didn't show me his divorce papers though he offered and didn't follow through, since he talked about her all the time I thought it was a moot point -- but he was definitely not done with the marriage and he wasn't done telling people all about it, (primarily total strangers) that his wife had affairs, (who knows if that's true but that was his story and he was sticking to it and milking it for all it was worth). I guess everyone needs someone to talk to but it should be a therapist. It's probably less expensive to go on a date and chat someone up about your ex-wife than to pay for therapy and a date but it's a waste of time and terrible turn off for the listener and worse the lost opportunity to be with someone because you're still with your ex.

Then I called Marty because as usual my crack of dawn was his bed time. With my coffee, we talked our mothers (their health), basketball and basketball shoes. Marty has been playing basketball avidly for 40 years. Marty has some You Tube videos posted. There are all kinds of them. He rates basketball shoes. He has made music videos, promos  for other comedians, all kinds of stuff... We also started talking about marriage as usual. I told him about this story a guy told me. The guy said not all that long ago, his mother told him that about six months after she married his step father they had a talk and both agreed they had made a mistake and they should not have gotten married. That was about 35 years ago. i asked him why they stayed together. He said he guessed they didn't want to be alone. And maybe they were tired of dating his mom had dated several guys when she and his father divorced. I remember thinking how sad that story was and that those two people had sold out. I thought it seemed like they would realize you only get one shot at this life. They didn't even have that old excuse everyone uses, "I stayed for the kids." It seems like at some point the couple would wake up to reality and think about what a waste their lives were. And that they may have missed out on a chance for a happy life and marriage with their best friends and true companionship rather than convenience. The husband has a maid and the wife has a financier. The husband doesn't have to clean or cook and the wife quit working a shortly after they were married but is that a good trade off; it seems so shallow and compromising. It broke my heart but I think love and loving takes a lot of balls; it is a huge gamble putting your faith in yourself and someone else. When I related the tale to Ronni she thought it was the saddest story she had ever heard. When I was talking to Marty about it this morning, he said he thinks each person is getting what they want out of the marriage so it works for them and apparently works better than some marriages based on love. He reminded me that lots of marriages based on love don't last very long. I said well, that may be true but at least those people had the courage to take a shot at having something fulfilling and real rather than prostituting themselves. I told him that I think I am a little naive about things like that because I want to be with my best friend not some guy who the right job or good investments. For some reason, we started talking about Natalie his ex. He said he doesn't he want to love someone like that again. I told him he is not willing to put himself out there then. And he said he hasn't met that many women he had strong enough feelings for or attraction to that he was willing to put himself out there. I haven't met many men I was truly attracted and I haven't met any men I respected after I got to know them but I am still willing to keep sifting through the left overs (that's mostly what/who is out there at my age, some guy who spent his best years with someone else and has luggage, which includes child support, maybe two mortgages or alimony, years of whatever caused the demise of the marriage, kids who are always pissed their parents got divorced no matter how crappy the marriage was because the world revolves around them, etc.

I'm done writing for a bit and as usual I'm not going to edit. I need to get someone else to do that!!!

Quick read that would be helpful to men

http://www.drwendywalsh.com/blog/2014/05/women-six-sexuality-facts-may-surprise-men/

The best thing about being single

One of the best things about not being married:

I don't worry about my husband cheating on me. It seems like a lot of people who are married are worried that their spouses are cheating on them. And it seems like every man I talk to says his wife cheated on him. First, I don't think it's any of my business. Second, that is not a turn on at all. Third, the cheating may have been a reaction or symptom of a crappy marriage.

Every other Friday

My supervisor and I are going to alternate taking Fridays off. If we do maybe I can get back to my MANglish translations. I'd like to do some more research. And the vlogs were fun. When I asked Tater to do a vlog he had to decline because of his job... I forwarded an email to him so he could get up to speed. I was trying to send him clean answers from someone. I chose to forward an email from Ron thinking they were good ones that weren't vulgar. Tater said he couldn't believe what a male chauvinist the guy who wrote the email is. Of course that wasn't the first time I heard some negative comments about Ron but I thought Ron may have been trying to be funny, clever or get his message across to me personally because I used to have a crush on him. Back when I had a crush on him a couple of my friends didn't like him at all. My friend, Beth, thought he was cocky. But when she gave me an example of his cockiness I had not had the same reaction to his behavior but everyone perceives things differently. At the time I remember thinking how it was peculiar that two people could see and hear the same exact thing and have completely different opinions.

Flirting

A property owner who is building an apartment complex keeps flirting with me. I haven't even met him. So far our exchanges have been emails and phone conversations but he made it very clear yesterday that he is interested in me. Of course I don't know what he looks like either. And he lives in Detroit but comes to Texas frequently since he has business here. I don't know if he realizes that it's inappropriate for me to date and socialize with people whose projects I am managing. 

Coworker

One of my coworkers was telling me how he met his wife online and they started dating. It was long distance at first, 8 hours one way. He said it was awful having to travel so much every weekend. And he had to stay upbeat about the whole thing because the distance made her have some doubts but it ended up working out for them. I think the met on eHarmony but it may have been Match. What he didn't tell me was if he was already divorced when they met.

Workout partner

I need a workout partner. My old supervisor said we can walk and talk on the phone at the same time. 

Spouses

I've noticed people who are married think that their spouses have to tolerate anything they dish out.

Romantic

I've decided I need to be more romantic.

Thought

I've been there 100% of the time for a friend because he is having some terrible problems with his marriage.

Movie

I really liked A Long Way Down. Watch it.

Skeletons

Discussing skeletons in the closet with my old supervisor; he says everyone has them.

Decent hour

I'm home at a decent hour;-)

A Long Way Down

I worked from 6 to 6 and was very happy to be home at a decent hour and I'm watching A Long Way Down. It may be good, the guy who was the character, Jesse, in Breaking Bad is one of the actors in it. Jesse was the character I liked in Breaking Bad.

Finally

Home from work and ready for zzz

This might be interesting

http://www.ted.com/talks/diane_kelly_what_we_didn_t_know_about_penis_anatomy

Marty thinks this guy has sent this same message to one thousand women including me

each time i move away from what i think am seeing and i just cant explain what it mean to love until i found a cold part of my breath,what i saw is rainbow deep inside your face my world ,and your profile as i woke up to my computer this morning,i really wounder how this would have mean to you?..having such an angel like human in this physical world.i was lost in the wilderness for years now,searching for my rainbow,but thank God you brought me back to life.This must be love,am not searching no more.will appreciate your reply.

Saturday night

It's a good night to catch up with family and friends.

No followers

I don't have any followers so I wonder who reads these posts. The information I see makes it appear that people in the U.S., France, India, Poland, Germany, Canada and a couple of other places view my posts but I don't know if they're the same people viewing or new people. Initially, I started the post because it's an easy way to keep writings for my book ideas (Good Enough for Government Work and MANglish: What Men Are Really Saying) but I've continued to post some even though I haven't really had a lot of time to do more interviews for the MANglish book lately. I need to get back on track. I want to do some more vlogs too. I think it would be fun if I got some contributions from men whom I don't know maybe online. Maybe I could get some of my friends to make some vlogs for me and send them to me. It would be even better if men asked me some questions about the SHEnglish women use. 

Done chatting

Marty just went to bed. He has the oddest hours. I don't know if it's because he has been a stand up comedian his entire adult life or he would have crazy hours anyway but it seems like no matter what time I call he is up. It's nice that I have someone to talk to almost anytime. Occasionally, he'll be unavailable but it's rare. While we were talking, he told me that he's been talking and connecting with this new woman he met online as he described her there seemed to be some similarities to a few of the other women he knows and has met (some he met online). She doesn't work and that's been the case with a couple of women he's met. She writes and that has been the case with other women he's met. They either write or aspire to write or be creative in some way. She has some physical issue and that has been the case with every woman he has met except for one. The one woman he met who isn't sick all the time lives too far away. Marty said she was too far away (two hours) to start a relationship with. But then he ended up having sex with her anyway, SEVERAL TIMES, and apparently it was pretty good sex since he went back for more. He kept telling her that he didn't want to get involved with her since she lived too far away. Then she told him she was probably going to get back with her ex since he wasn't willing to have a long distance relationship with her. I asked him if he thought that was true or a cloaked ultimatum. Marty said he didn't know and he didn't think it mattered because he wasn't willing to get more involved with her. Marty felt really bad about having sex with the woman since he knew from the get go he didn't want to go to the trouble of having a long distance relationship but the chemistry go the best of him. And, I think he did get caught up in the excitement of the texting and emails and such. Those flirtatious texts and emails really tend to suck you in when you first meet someone whether it's online or not. Plus, Marty said the woman really woke up some feelings in him and he was drawn to her (I call that feeling "horny"). When I asked if Marty had been communicating with her still and what was going on with since the ultimatum he said she was going to hang out with her ex last night so I guess maybe she is thinking about getting back with him or wants Marty to think so. he said he thinks she really is considering getting back with her ex because she's lonely and wants to be with someone. What is surprising to me is that Marty keeps meeting women. And they seem to be interested in him which he doesn't seem grateful for at all. He just takes it for granted that he will continue to meet women and they'll be interested. I'm usually really positive and consider myself an optimistic realist but I don't know that I'll meet someone again and if I don't it's not the end of the world; my friends and family are the most important people to me. I also don't have this innate feeling that if/when I meet someone, he'll like me and feel the same chemistry and attachment and desires that I'm feeling. The last time I met someone it wasn't the case that the man had any interest in me as relationship material and I didn't know if i would want a long term relationship with him or not since we didn't see each other very long or very often but he did seem like a nice guy. I'm always in awe of those people who have the faith that they'll meet someone. I am just not sure if the optimistic or delusional... 

Amazng

Marty has met another woman online. I'm amazed that he keeps meeting women. Maybe he's using my account and the women think he's a lesbian.

Marty

I've been so busy I haven't been able to talk to him much so I called this morning. I knew he would be up, It's still last night to him. It's so nice to get to chat.

Decision

I'm trying to decide if I am going to go in and work for a few hours today or tomorrow. There is so much work to do right now. I would like to be able to see some light at the end of the tunnel. The time flies when I am at work, I usually don't even finish a cup of coffee and don't really get a lunch break...

Reunion

Llast night, I saw a coworker from Corpus, Kris. He grew up in Seabrook and moved back here a couple of months before me. I ate dinner with Kris and his father. It was nice to see a familiar face. Kris was a hard worker and a smart young man, I enjoyed working with him in Corpus so it was great to hang out. His girlfriend was working so she couldn't join us but I'm hoping to see her soon. After we ate, we went for a drink at Cabo. There's a huge deck overlooking the water. It's so nice to be close to the water again.

Happy

Saturday

Seabrook

Went out in Seabrook for dinner and a drink, at last.

Long day

It would be nice to have a beer.

Conversation with Tator

Tator and I were in a discussion Wednesday and he stated that he believes men and women can't be friends if the have had sex. I'm hoping to run into him today so he can explain his logic behind his statement. I told him I think it's hard if one or both still have feelings for each other that go beyond a desire to be friends. It's hard to accept that someone is not attracted to you and can cause some turmoil but I don't think anyone purposefully is not attracted someone. When a man has been attracted to me and I didn't feel that way about him I couldn't do anything about. I couldn't make myself be attracted to him. It's not something that anyone can control. It would be so much easier if attraction and chemistry was something that could be harnessed and directed. In the recent past, I was very attracted to someone, of course I didn't know if it would go anywhere and the opportunity to find out didn't present itself since we didn't live near each other but he didn't feel the same way about me. There's no way I could blame him since he could not force himself to be attracted to me even if he wanted to be. 

Working

I've been working for an hour already. I've been editing the minutes from the last Planning and Zoning Commission meeting. The meeting included an agenda item that is a very ethereal concept which prompted a lot of discussion and confusion so editing the minutes is arduous.

Some more of Tator's MANglish Translations

Tator,

If you say to a woman, "Let's just be friends." what does that mean?

Shelby

Shel,

I like you, but there is no romantic attraction for me; OR there is, but I can’t pursue it because I’m married, because of my religious convictions, or for whatever reason I don’t want or can’t pursue a deeper relationship.  Again, I’m different, if I was attracted, but can’t pursue because I’m married and religiously, I try to lead a different life – that’s what I’d say.  I’ve been down the road of attracted and wanting to pursue – and have learned nothing but trouble, heartache, and pain comes from that.  I’m flawed like most people I know …. For me, it’s learning from the flaw and not repeating.

Tator

Busy

I am busy all the time at work. I feel so much more productive. Thank goodness I had the opportunity to change jobs.

Tator's MANglish Translations Cont'd

Tator,


If you say you're looking for an independent woman what does that mean in MANglish?

S

Shel, 

A woman who is self-sufficient, can stand on her own, and can make her own decisions.  I’m not threatened by a woman making more money than me, or having skills that are better than mine.  This is not a sexual remark to me.

T

Some more MANglish from Tator

Tator,

If you tell a woman you'll take her somewhere that you would not typically go e.g., a Barbie Convention, antiquing, etc. what does that mean? 

S

Shelby,

If I knew that’s what the person liked to do, I’d be saying your desire and interests are important to me, and I’ll go to make you happy.  I’m assuming the event is not a sexually oriented event.  I don’t like antiquing, but I take my wife because I know it makes her happy.

T

Tator's MANglish Translation

Tator,


If you were to tell a woman that you are available to her if she needs anything what are you really saying? 

Thanks,

Shelby

Shelby,

I would try not to say “anything” because most women will interpret that as sexually intended from a man.   If I used that sentence exactly as stated, I would not be meaning sex (if that was the case I would say so), I would mean any kind of help I could provide.

Tator

Sunrise

It's almost sunrise. This is my favorite time of day. Every morning, I think, "Here's my chance to make a difference."

Conversation

I decided I need to have a conversation with my friend and explain that I'm not done grieving my last pseudo relationship yet and I think he is reaching out to me because I am his friend. If he needs to talk I always listen to him. If he asks for advice I give it. If he needs a friend I'm there. I'm always nice to him. All the things he says his wife is not and has not been so thinking we have a future is just because we're such good friends. In his defense, he has not put any moves on me. He has put himself out there and made it clear that if I will consider it he wants to pursue a future with me. And in my defense, I have never been anything but a friend to him. I have never even hinted at us getting together. I am not interested in trying to steal someone's husband. I did think I like to work on being in a healthy relationship and possible marriage but not to someone else's husband. 

Yoga

Lunch yoga was so intense yesterday. I am sore.

Early morning

It's always feels so peaceful early in the morning. The sun is coming up and it's a beautiful sunrise. 

Joe's last date

Joe had a date with a woman he met on Coffee Meets Bagel. They tested a bunch before the date and of course the excitement of an upcoming date and the chance that he might meet the girl of dreams had him walking on cloud nine and he was texting me for SHEnglish translations. The next day or so after the date, the woman texted Joe; it read, I had a great time but I just got out of a relationship and I thought I was ready to move on and now I know I'm not. Sorry. I told him, she may have been telling the truth or maybe she wasn't attracted to him. Either way, she's not interested in him. 

Revelation

Lately, I was a little frustrated with myself because a man made it quite clear to me he wants a future with me. I've examined myself and could not understand why I am not interested. I kept going over things in my head and thought why wouldn't I be attracted to a kind man who admires me and is available rather than being heart broken over a man who was not available and gave me many repeatedly told me things weren't going to work out. Then I realized that my admirer isn't really available either. Though I have never encouraged him to have any feelings for me other than friendship, he said he is getting a divorce and thinks we have a future together. I am not sure why I didn't see it all along but the other day I had an epiphany and told Vivi that it's ridiculous to beat myself up because I can't make myself fall for this seemingly available guy because I still feel like someone ripped my heart out of my chest when he is married to  someone else so he is not available. 

30 views of old post

The other day, 30 people (in France) viewed one of my old posts from June 27th. It was Marty's comment on online dating profiles of men on OKCupid. Marty and i thought it was kind of strange that a bunch of people in France would read a post out of the clear blue sky.

Escort

On the way to the San Antonio airport.

Hocus Pocus

My favorite Halloween movie is Hocus Pocus.

Green Shooting Star

This morning, I saw a shooting star that was greenish for the first time. It lasted a long time so I made a wish.

pretty

yummmmmmmm

Another Halloween photo at work

Moving

The moving has begun.

Fun Halloween at work

My skeleton

Happy Halloween

Finally wearing the wedding dress I bought three years ago, it did come in handy for something.

Happy Halloween

I'm thinking about being a bride for Halloween.

Finally

At last, I realize some people aren't worth it. It took long enough. I guess I am stubborn or hard headed so it takes a long time for me to give up on something or someone. It may have been something Ronni said to me that prompted the revelation. She told me that if I could see myself through her eyes I would have a different opinion of myself. Maybe she was just bs'ing me but she followed with a couple of very nice compliments. I guess that's what your girlfriends are supposed to do; encourage, comfort, etc. It's great to have friends.

Ronni

Ronni told me she often feels she has made bad decisions. We were talking and I said, "There is not one guy I've dated that I regret the fact that he got away." I never have that feeling, "Dang it! I can't believe that one got away." And Ronni said she feels that way about everyone she ever dated and I thought it was so sad but then again maybe I am the one who is delusional and I'm fooling myself by thinking things have worked out the way they were supposed for me. I don't know but I don't want to settle for being with someone who is not my best friend.

Thank you

I loved the "Thank you Dr. Salk" today on Google.

From Reno (He must need a Green Card)

my name is antonio and i want you to know that I'm very impressed with your profile. I've been on this for few days now and looking to finding love. I really will love to get to know more about you and see what the future holds for us.. . Please endeavour to send me a reply
hope to read from you soonest

Broken

First kiss

My adopted son

Jose, who is my adopted son, asked me what it is I like about him. He started out with, "Can I ask you something?" and I asked, "Is this a SHEnglish question?" and he said, "Yes." I told him that when we talk he is sincere. He's not trying to get me to like him. H just acts like himself. He has the same core values as me; he doesn't lie to me or try to steal from anyone and he values his family and his relationships. When we talk he is not trying to impress me or make false impressions of himself. Many times when a guy is on a date with me or talking to me and we're trying to get to know each other, the guy comes off as some kind of ego maniac or full of himself and he certainly seems more concerned with what I think of him than in being sincere. I have had many men lie to me about things that were mostly not worth lying about and in most cases the truth would have been a better an more believable story. I don't know why men do that. It usually makes me suspicious of the man later. When a man lies to me I never know if I can believe anything he says after that because I know he is capable of lying. And I always feel like the man is not sincere with me when he lies and I feel like I have been discounted as some judgmental, superficial bitch when a man thinks he can't trust me with the truth. My girlfriend, Ronni, thinks that says more about the man tan me but that's another story. I told Jose just be himself because people can tell when you're not being sincere. Also, Ronni and I have had the same experience over and over again. When you're friends with someone the person accepts you and many times our men friends have fallen for us but our common thread with our male friendships end there. She has slept with many of her male friends and it got weird. I have not. I have dated one of male friends only. And after 27 years of friendship the dynamic did change and our friendship has not been the same so I have not dated one of my long time male friends since. It was not worth the loss and longing to me. But overall I think when someone see you for who you are how could the person feel anything but love. And feel very fortunate to have glimpsed it.

Ronni

Ronni says the only reason I want someone who doesn't want me is because it invalidates me. She thinks when she'd been rejected it made her feel invalidated and that it is a human condition.

Planner's article

http://www.custommade.com/blog/walkable-urbanism/

Sustainable shopper article

http://www.custommade.com/blog/sustainable-furniture/?utm_source=exacttarget&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=customer_newsletter&utm_content=20141025_Jewelry&utm_term=86957

Work strong v. Work out strong

Marty and I are convinced work strong is by far better than work out strong. People who labor are so much stronger than the guys who go to the gym. More about this later. I have a really funny story about a guy from my gym.

Online shopping

I did some online shopping last night and by the time I used my cash back and bonus code I paid $5.00 for $75.00 of clothes.

Big Saturday Night

I'm doing laundry and watching Numb3rs on Netflix. It's first time I have been able to do laundry at home since I moved to Seabrook. I think laundry is my favorite task because it's so easy. When someone says he/she is not good at laundry i wonder what ind of numb-skull you'd have to be to suck at laundry.

Tie

Going to google how to tie a tie. I bought a tie at J. Crew and I am anxious to wear it but I haven't tied a tie since Nick was in high school. 

Yesterday

yesterday, before I could even say, "I'm not into that." this lady shoved her finger up my arse. At least there was no copay (but I still felt violated).

The view of the bay from Christus Spohn

Morning

The rain has stopped for now and I'm reading Jack Kerouac's On the Road while I wait for my posse to come down stairs with some notion of our day's events. I'm wondering if I should be part of the entourage who posts itself at the hospital anxiously awaits even the tiniest fragment of hope through an accomplishment that would have been less than trivial a week and a half ago or assign myself to a duty that would have insignificant and routine in the very recent past but now is something that has been relegated the list of tasks which can wait while priorities are realigned in the midst of tragedy. 

Raining

It's raining in Corpus Christi which is something that didn't happen the whole five years I lived here. There was a drought my entire stay. I'm visiting my posse. They've had rough time lately. The matriarch of the family had a stroke during a quadruple bypass, one boss was fired and one died. I hope the bad times are over for now. 

My office neighbor & yoga partner, June

June & I at work. She is so sweet. I am glad she offices across the hall from me. It makes my day when she comes in and says, "I'm home." it cracks me up. The first time she said that instead of "Good Morning." I cracked up.

Picture of my little angel, Nick

James has a girlfriend

and he didn't even have to blow her up;-)

Still have hurt feelings

I was talking about my crappy love life today with Nathan. And I told him that I'm pretty much done with men after my last experience but lesbians don't really like me. Nathan laughed and I said the only lesbian who ever acted like she might be flirting with me a little was Ellen Degenerous when she was working at Laff's Comedy Warehouse back when I was a waitress there. When she signed my shirt I asked her to sign the back and replied that I was probably just wanting a back rub. Maybe she wasn't flirting but I thought she was. I'd like to think she was flirting with me so at least the one time a lesbian acted interested she was cute and funny.

Done working

I was so happy to get home tonight; worked over 12 hours today.

OKCupid

Until yesterday I wasn't aware that someone can contact a subscriber of OKCupid even if not a subscribing to the site. I was contacted by someone. I was contacted by a non-subscriber which kind of freaked me out. Why wouldn't the guy just sign up? Since I thought it was kind of creepy I put the guy off in the nicest way I could. Later, I thought about it and I am not interested in meeting anyone right now. Since I am not 100% over the guy I met last year it wouldn't be fair to go out with anyone right now. I know it's a waste of time to carry a torch for someone who's not interested but I'm not one of those people who can just shut off her feelings so I have to work through it the best I can. I never really even knw what happened so that still bothers me too.

Wonder

I wonder if people who start new lives ever miss their old lives. It seems like after a divorce or something a person would miss his old life sometimes. I know I miss my old life with my son. Though we had some rough times we had great times too and I long for those days frequently.

Nick

My son, Nick, started laughing his head off when I told home that the massage therapist was digging his elbow and thumb into my back and neck so hard that I started sweating and that it hurt so bad that even my ass was sweating. Nick thought it was hilarious. I'm glad he got a kick out of it. My mom thinks I should go back for another massage since I can turn my head with having excruciating pain now.

Newer Tennis

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-t61OTSCZ4

NYC

Every time I see a movie set in NYC it makes me want to move there. It looks so fun. 

A chore paid off

Yesterday, my horoscope said something about a good find in an antique store...But the hidden treasure was in my own apartment. I decided to finally sort out my jewelry and it was so cool. It was like shopping without having to spend any money. And, the very best part, I found my black pearl earring that I lost about two years ago. I bought them when I did a urban design study abroad in China so I'm sentimental about them. I used to wear those earrings all the time since they go with so many things. 

Finished The Following

The Following was excellent. I'm finished with season two and ready for season three. I'm going to watch an episode or two Peaky Blinders and see what I think. It might be better if I were addicted to something other than Netflix. Now that my neck feels great I can start exercising more...I need a workout partner. That's been helpful to me in the past.

Tennis anyone?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OA4W3YRZqPA

More Tennis from Nick Shelton, my hero

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cc-tHE9QcpQ

My son sent some music today

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gY5kKn24qvs

Update on the massage

For the first time in months, I can turn my head to the side without it hurting. Now, I
'm glad that the massage therapist nearly kicked my ass yesterday because it did the trick. I feel so much better than I have in a very long time.

Happy

I'm glad Government Perry is so dashing and good looking (he's very much a pretty boy, I think he sees himself as the George Clooney of politics) because his good looks might get him some protection from his boyfriend in prison. Because he should be indicted and convicted for handing out funding via the Enterprise Fund to his buddies, who never even filed applications for funding. What a crooked son of a gun. I'm surprised the anomalies were discovered since he kept cutting funding for the Ethics Committee.

Massage

Yesterday, I went to Baybrook Mall to return some my booty from retail therapy last weekend. When I walked out of the Gap store, I saw some massage chairs and people getting massages so I decided to try it because I have had a neck ache for about four months. I haven't had a massage in the mall before and haven't had a lot of massages in general ever since the man (he worked at my gym), who was giving my friends and me massages turned out to be a convicted rapist which is like someone on a diet working in an ice cream shop. The only female massage therapist helped me get oriented in the chair and started the massage. She wasn't rubbing my neck and back very hard and I thought I hope this isn't how the whole massage is going to be. Then one of the male therapist started rubbing my back. Shortly, he started rubbing my back with a lot pressure and I was excited because I thought he might get rid of some of the knots I suspect I have in my back. After a little longer he started digging into my back by my left shoulder blade with his elbow. And he was really going to town on my neck. It hurt so much that even my ass was sweating.  It reminded me of grad school because every time I had to take one of Dr. Marshment's statistics tests. His tests were so hard that I would get sweaty all over - I have terrible test anxiety - my hands would be so sweaty that I couldn't hold onto my pencil. 

New prospect from Plenty of Fish

Marty met a woman on Plenty of Fish this week and has been excited about the texting back and forth and such. I can't even imagine being excited about something like that since my OKCupid match back fired so profoundly.

Yoga

I finally went to the yoga class at lunch this week. It was fantastic. I am so glad that I'm working someplace that encourages a healthy lifestyle maybe it will rub off on me.

The Following

I started watching season two of The Following. It's been a couple of years since I watched the first season. I remember thinking it was so scary. It freaked me out a little bit because the people would do anything for the cult leader. So far the second season is scary and suspenseful too. of course it could be that Kevin Bacon is believable so I have bought into the whole thing 

Funny

Caught this on Netflix (it may still be available there)

http://letterboxd.com/film/unhung-hero/

Going to try this work out this week

http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/glute-workout-5-moves-to-a-better-butt.html

James

My friend, James told me he thinks women lose their power as they get older because they aren't as attractive as they age and as their looks fade so does their power. I told him that I never got asked out when I was young and since my 30's I have been asked out thousands of times. He said that's because I have aged well. I don't know that that's true. I don't think men are only attracted to looks. I think men are attracted women's nurturing. There are other qualities men look for in a mate, at least from my perspective, I think men look for woman who can take care of herself, is stable, has a sense of humor, a best friend and those are just a few of the qualities I think they look for in the a partner. Also, I think men are lonelier than women so they like having someone otherwise there would be so many sexually oriented businesses because many men go into gentlemen's clubs for companionship. If women were as lonely as men there would be far more sexually oriented businesses which cater to women. Men go into topless clubs and look for someone to hang out with and frequently spend a lot of time and money with women whom they never see outside the club but women don't do that and if a woman gives money to a man they are screwing. Men give women money hoping to get some. Women give men money because they are getting some. Men buy women presents hoping to get some. Women buy men presents because they are getting some. Men take women on trips hoping to score. Women take men on trips because they scored. Back to James hypothesis in a future blog.

Ugly ex-boyfriend

Not too long ago, one of my blogs mentioned my ex-boyfriend, Mike and a little tiff we had one time over how many people we had had sex with prior to us getting together. He got upset because I had had sex with more people than he had. And told me he felt like someone kicked him the stomach when he found out. In the blog said that I told him it was because he was ugly and I wasn't. I felt bad after I blogged that but it is the truth. When we met he was really unattractive. After he shaved his head he did look better but he was not good looking at all. He was in good shape because was very active and had worked out for 25 years but his face was not attractive in the least and his teeth were a funny color. When I saw a childhood picture of him in his baseball uniform, I finally knew what the saying a "A face only a mother could love." meant. He had a Ronald McDonald red afro and a hideous face. I was stunned because he looked even worse as a child and I thought most kids were cute (in the old days before people got so darned fat, now most kids aren't cute they're rollie-pollies) but not him. He had gotten better looking as he aged but he was never going to be attractive. Anyway I just wanted to explain that I wasn't being mean or anything by saying he was ugly (on this blog anyway; I don't think it was nice of me to say it to him but we were having a tiff and we both were saying mean things; he probably compared me to his ex or something which would have pissed me off since she cheated on him and would do things like hide banana peals under the couch)  because he was. And in my defense, as I said in the original blog he asked how many men I had had sex with and if you don't want to know the truth don't ask.

Advertising

None of the men on dating websites ever look like the men in the commercials or in the ads. I realize that sounds superficial but there's a photo on the sites for a reason; the first thing people notice about other people is what they look like not what they smell like. James and Marty have both said that they think women don't care that much about what men look like which I thought was weird since I know I do look at the pictures on OKCupid: I did see a really handsome guy on there once but there was only one photo which didn't show his body so who knows what kind of shape he was in and he lived somewhere like Massachusetts (way too far from Texas). Back to visual, I'm wondering if I am far more visual that most women or if James and Marty have no idea what women want and like. 

Retail Therapy

I had to do some retail therapy today. It may have done the trick I'm feeling pretty good and think I'll sleep like a rock. I was bummed because someone told me he was mad at him self for being weak (he was referring to a drunken sexual interlude between us a while back). I felt like he thinks I'm the devil or something. It hurt my feelings. Of course I have no idea what he meant when he said it since men speak MANglish and didn't have my pocket translator.