Refreshing

My computer so Jim's MANglish Translations may have to wait until tomorrow.

OKCupid message sent 10,000 times?

http://abcnews.go.com/US/cringe-inducing-lines-longest-cupid-message/story?id=24315463

MANglish Translation "Lucky guy" from Marty

Marty,

What does it mean when a man says to a woman he's been seeing, "Whoever marries you is a lucky guy."

Shelby

Shel,

"There's no way in hell I'm marrying you."

Marty

New MANglish Translation from Marty

Marty,

Thank you so much for your contributions so far. Here is another translation:

What does it mean when a man tells the woman he is dating, "I tried to distance myself from you and realize now that that was a mistake."?

Shelby

Shel,

Things didn't work out with the other woman I was pursuing.

Marty

When a woman says, "Let's just be friends."

One young man told me this is what he thinks when a woman he is interested in says, "Let's just be friends."

It seems like girls want guy friends so that the guys the girls really want will see them as a prize because all these guys are hanging around (chasing her).

B.J's comment on dating around

B.J. doesn't date around. She's quick to jump into a relationship because she is very open. And she thinks when women say they don't mind if the man they've started dating is seeing other women, its a test. If the man doesn't say he's not interested in other women he just failed the test.

Renee's comment on dating around

Renee says she's up front with a guy she's dating and if she isn't interested in seeing other men then she says so. Conversely, if she says, "I don't mind if you see other people." she means just that but she wants to know. She doesn't want a guy telling her she's the only one and hears he's out with other women. Or worse he says he's not seeing other women but starts acting shady or treating her differently. She does think its a good idea to keep your options and mind open but respectful enough of others to be honest about it.

New SHEnglish comment on dating other people

It's confusing when a woman says, "I don't care if you see other people." Beth says, "She thinks when women say that they really want the person they're dating to say something along the lines of, I don't want to see other people."

Antonio's comment on the Friend Zone

I asked Antonio if he has told a woman, "Let's just be friends." and if he he has said it what it meant. He said if he were to say that to a woman he would mean it sincerely and he would want to be friends with her but he doesn't want anything more.

Antonio's MANglish Translation on something new

I have had many women tell me (over a lot of years) that all of the sudden the guy their says, "I don't have time for a girlfriend right now." so I asked Antonio what he would really be saying MANglish if he said that to a woman. He said that means, "I'm not interested in you as a girlfriend."

Antonio's MANglish Translation 9

I asked Antonio what it means if he is out with the woman he is dating and they are celebrating her birthday when she takes his picture. Right after she takes the picture he says to her, "Don't put my picture on Facebook." He said that means, "I don't want the other women I am seeing to know about you."

Antonio's comment on online profiles (MANglish Translation 8)

Antonio said if he had an online profile on a dating site that he would never say he is attractive. He would upload a picture and let women decide for themselves if he is attractive.

Antonio said he would say he is intelligent either that's something the person can figure out through communicating or by reading what he wrote on his profile. It's something that will be discovered over time if he starts seeing someone.

Antonio said he would not say he's easy going either and that men say what they think women want to hear in their dating site profiles.

Antonio's MANglish Translation 7

Antonio said when he says he is looking for an independent woman it means that he is looking for a woman who can take care of herself in every way, not just financially. He thinks it means if he fell off the face of the earth she would be able to go on and live her life and be ok.

Antonio's MANglish Translation 6

I asked Antonio what it means if he tells the woman he's dating that he doesn't believe in soul mates. He said if he says, "I don't believe in soul mates." it means, "I don't want to commit to you. I have been hurt before and I am not willing to put myself out there."

Antonio's MANglish Translation 5

I asked Antonio what it means if he says he'll take the woman he is dating to go antiquing or to some other event that he wouldn't generally do because it is something she likes to do. Antonio said if he takes a woman to do something she enjoys but it's not something he really likes to do it is because he wants to let her know that he is willing to compromise.

Antonio's MANglish Translation 4

I asked Antonio what it would mean if says to the woman he is seeing, "I want you to be able to talk to me about anything." He said that it means, "I want to know if you're going to cheat on me." I said, "Cheat on you? Is that what you really mean?" And, Antonio said, "Yes, that's what I mean. I want to know if she's seeing other people. I want to know if she is seeing other men."

Antonio's MANglish Translation 3

Antonio told me that is he tells the woman he is seeing that he doesn't want to get married it means he doesn't want to merry her. This scenario hit close to home for Antonio. He had a very serious girlfriend and they had discussed marriage. They were headed down that path when she got very jealous about something and she slapped him. He knew then that he didn't want to marry her and they broke up.

Antonio's MANglish Translation 2

I asked Antonio if he has ever told a woman he's available if she needs anything. He said, "Yes." so I asked him what it meant.

Antonio said that if he tells a woman he is dating that she is available if she needs anything he is available, it means he wants to hang out with her and he wants to help her.

Scott's MANglish Translation 9

Scott,

Let's say you're out with the woman you're dating and you're celebrating something special, maybe her birthday. She takes a picture of you and you immediately say, "Don't put my picture on Facebook." What does that mean in MANglish?

Thanks,

Shel

Shelby,

She's a ho.

S

Scott,

I thought it might mean something like that. 

s

Scott With a New MANglish Translation

Scott,

Thank you so much for your contributions so far. Here is another translation:

What does it mean when a man tells the woman he is dating, "I tried to distance myself from you and realize now that that was a mistake."?

Shel

Shelby,

He is a moron trying to get something he f@cked up back.

Scott

Antonio's MANglish Translation

I explained my MANglish project to Antonio and he agreed to contribute. I asked him what it means if he were to say to the woman he's dating, "I don't want to hurt you." Antonio said that means he is not interested in her.

Scott's MANglish Translation

Scott,

What does it mean if a man tells the woman he is dating that he doesn't want to hurt her?

S

Shelby,

It means he probably is going to hurt her but he's not particularly happy about it.

Scott

Scott's MANglish Translation 6

Scott,

If you say to a woman that you don't believe in soul mates what does that mean?

Shelby

Shel,

It means he probably did believe in them once but one too many relationships blew up in his face.

Scott

OKCupid Nut

OMG sometimes i see a photo that really draws me in and I have to write. I love you! 

I don't know where Killeen is, but I'm dying to find out.

Mic's comment on men who say they're easy going

Mic thinks men who say they're easy going in their online profiles know they are not the type to blow up over the smallest, mist insignificant thing. And the men who say that about themselves are trying to stress that. Everyone has been around those volitile people who go off and they know how awful that can be.

More sincere online profiles according to Mic

I asked Mic what he thought about men who say they're looking for a best friend in they're online profiles. Mic said he thinks men who say that have a valid objective. Many people underrate friendship (mistakenly, in his mind), while men looking for a best friend get it. They realize people who end up with their best friend in their loving relationship, who does love them and treats them like respectfully and like a friend have a soul mate and are very lucky.

Mic's opinion of certain descriptive words in online profiles

Mic gave me a brief list if words men use to describe themselves that should be red flags. In his opinion, when men describe themselves as; attractive, good looking, intelligent, free spirited, affluent, well traveled to name a few women should stay away. If men say they're attractive, especially if there's no picture posted then the man is trying to attract pretty women who are better looking than him & out of his league. The same goes for statements about his intelligence. Mic thinks if a man says he is free spirited that the guy is looking for a one night stand only. Last, when men bring up money and travel, Mic thinks men are using these as bait to attract women.

Another of Mic's comments on online profiles

Mic said that men who describe themselves as intelligent in their online profiles are  very presumptuous first of all. Second, even if you ate intelligent you are not supposed to say it. Through exposure, talking and dating someone can decide that on her own.

MANglish in general

Several people, especially men, have said things like, I don't mislead women, I don't lie to women, etc. Every time, I explain that men are not trying to mislead women when they use MANglish. In general, men are trying get their point across. And many times they think they're being very clear. In fact, when I have asked men, "Do you say things to your wife or girlfriend that confuse her?" they always reply, "No." But if I ask if they've been asked for clarification on something the answer is always, "Yes."

Most of the time, men are not intentionally trying to confuse women. Men and women communicate differently. A lot of men I know seem to go out if their way to be sensitive and avoid hurting a woman's feelings.

Mic's comment on online profiles

Mic and I were talking about online profiles. I told him that many men use the word attractive to describe themselves. I asked him what he thought about it. Mic said any man who describes himself as attractive is full of himself.

Mic's Comment on the Friend Zone

When I asked Mic what it means when Men tell women. ""Let's just be friends." he said that he was sincere when he said that to women who weren't on the same page as him when he was single. 

Mic's MANglish Translation 6

I asked Mic to tell me what men mean when they say they want an independent woman and he said he thinks most men do want to be with women who can express themselves, have careers, etc.

Mic's MANglish Translation 5

I asked Mic what a man means when he says, "I don't believe in soul mates." Mic said that if anyone who says he doesn't believe in soul mates is cheating himself and any potential mate.

Mic's MANglish Translation 4

I asked Mic what a man is saying when he tells the woman he's dating that he wants her to be able to tell him anything. Mic said it means that he is genuinely there for her.

Mic's MANglish Translation 3

When Mic and I were talking about MANglish I explained that my female friends and I are perplexed because we all feel like it's taboo to bring up marriage.Gillian and I have spoken about this as well as, Vivi and Beth we're not sure why men bring up marriage all the time. Either they want to get married right away which is really scary or they bring up that they don't want to get married now. Could you explain what it means in MANglish when a man asks you about getting married when you've been dating a very short time and conversely explain what it means when a man says, "I don't want to get married now." What's going on with all the marriage talk?

Mic said that even men think that there's a natural progression with relationships. Marriage is the end result for a lot of people but if a man says, "I don't want to get married now." it's because the man is worried the woman is wanting to get married and he does not want to marry her.

Mic's MANglish Translation 2

I asked Mic what it means when a man says to the woman he's dating that he is available if she needs anything. Mic thinks that means the man is saying, "I'm happy to help you if you need it."

Mic's MANglish Translation

I asked Mic, my mentor and friend for six years, to contribute to my MANglish Mania and he graciously agreed. I told Mic that it's confusing to women when men say, "I don't want to hurt you." Mic said it confuses women because it could mean more than one thing depending on how the man feels about the woman. The man is either saying, "Be prepared for disappointment and if you get hurt it's not my fault." Or the man could be saying, "I really do care about you and don't want to risk hurting you."

Twenty Something's Comment on men

Good guys come around and stick around plain and simple.  The actions are what matters.  Ideally,  words are for laughs and profundity.  Bad guys lie to girls.  I don't know what else to add but that stuff could work for something.

A Twenty Something Man's Comment on the Friend Zone

Today, a 20 something man told me he doesn't think mean and women can be friends. If he thought his girlfriend was thinking of breaking up with him then he might say, "Let's just be friends." hoping that he might get another chance with her later. But in general, unless he's attracted to a woman he has no desire to be friends with her.

OKCupid Settings

I hope Marty remembers to change my settings back to Female looking for Male, etc. this time after he is done using my profile.

Nude photos

Beth says, "You should not ever take nude pictures of yourself and sext them to your current lover or take naked pictures of the two of you together unless you truly want to foster and maintain a friendship with the person the rest if your life."

Sounds very similar to parenthood. Yikes!

Mic's MANglish Translation 9

I asked Mic what it means if a couple is out celebrating, say its her birthday, the woman takes a picture of the man (they've been seeing each other for awhile) and he tells her not to post his picture on Facebook. Mic said, "It means he's not committed to the relationship."

Frank's comment on online dating profiles

In my conversation with Frank, I brought up the online profiles I've read on OKCupid. I told him that a lot of men describe themselves as attractive. Before I could even ask what he thought about it, he said, "You're not supposed to say that. It's bragging about yourself."

Then I told him that many men say they intelligent in they're profiles and I asked him what he thought they meant by saying that. He said he thinks men who say they're intelligent see themselves as smarter than everyone else & superior.

When I asked what men mean when they say they're laid back in their profiles he said that the man is really saying, "I'll do whatever you want to do & I'm up for anything. Let's have some fun together."

Frank's MANglish Translation 6

When I asked Frank what it means if he tells the woman he's dating that he doesn't believe in soul mates he said in his mind it means he's been messed around in the past and doesn't want to put himself out there.

Frank's MANglish Translation 9

Frank's says if a man is out with a woman he's datin and she takes his picture and he says, "Don't put my picture on Facebook." then he's got a secret. Maybe he's still married or wishes he was still married.

Work on your online profile

http://www.singleswarehouse.co.uk/2014/06/surprising-ways-to-use-your-profile-to-get-him-to-contact-you/

Corpus Christi

My mom just said she's been wondering if I shouldn't just move back to Corpus Christi. One hiccup: I don't have a job here.

Frank's Comment On Interesting SHEnglish Translation

During coffee I told Frank about the Interesting SHEnglish Translation (that was Gillian's take on asking a woman out in a text message). Frank said he Agee's with Gillian. If a man and woman have been texting, talking and seem to hit off when it comes time to go out in a real date it's proper to call rather than text. Frank thinks it's a sign if respect. So next time one of my men friends asks me why a woman didn't text him back when he asked if she wanted to meet up for a drink, I know what to say. "You should call (not text). Take the time to call. If she doesn't answer leave a message and make it clear that you want to see her. If she returns your call, she's interested and if she doesn't then she doesn't want to meet up and she's not interested or met someone else already."

Frank's MANglish Translation 7

Frank says if he says he wants an independent woman it means, "You do your thing and I'll do my thing."

Frank's MANglish Translation 5

When I asked Frank what a man is saying if he volunteers to take a woman to a Barbie Convention or antiquing even though he doesn't like those activities? He said if he did that it would be to try to be a part of her life or to weasel his way into her life. It depends on if he really wants to be with her or not.

Frank's MANglish Translation 4

When I asked Frank what he would mean by saying, "I want you to be able to talk to me about anything." to the woman he is dating? He said means, I want to know everything about you. You're the one."

Frank's MANglish Translation 3

I asked Frank what it would mean if he were to say to woman he's dating, "I don't want to get married now."? Frank said it means, " Let's keep seeing each other and get to know each other better before we consider marriage.'

Frank's MANglish Translation 2

I asked Frank if he would tell a woman he's dating that he is available if she needs anything. He said, "No. I wouldn't tell a woman that I'm available if she needs anything. It should go without saying if we're dating. It's weird and I think the men who say something like that are pretending to be nicer than they really are." Then he went on to say, "If I said that to a woman it would mean, call if you need something but not too much."

Frank's MANglush Translation

Over coffee this morning, I explained my MANglish project to Frank, who agreed to contribute. He said that if he tells a woman he is seeing, "I don't want to hurt you." He is saying, "I don't want to see you anymore."

Comment on my romantic interlude

I've only asked a few men over the last day or so but every one has said it is very strange for a man to kiss his own arm during sex. One said he accidentally kissed his own hand once because it somehow got in the way and was between him and his girlfriend. When it happened they both cracked up laughing. In 36 years of dating, that was the first time anyone kissed himself instead of me. When it happened I thought, "Why am I even here. You should have just stayed home and masterbated."

Scott's comment on the Friend Zone

Scott,

If you say to a woman, "Let's just be friends." what does that mean? And, thank you for contributing.

LU,

S

Shelby, 

I don't want to have a serious relationship with you. 

Scott

Scott's MANglish Translation 7

Scott,

If you say you're looking for an independent woman what does that men in MANglish? 

Shelby,

It means that in the past I've had clinging women that won't allow me to do anything with friends or by myself. An independent woman will say "have fun" instead of giving you shit about going.

Scott's MANglish Translation 5

Scott,

If you tell a woman you'll take her somewhere that you would not typically go e.g., a Barbie Convention, antiquing, etc. what does that mean?

Shelby,

I'm trying to show you that I care about you or I'm trying to impress you. Women do the same thing.

Scott's MANglish Translation 2

Scott,

Can you translate some MANglish for me?

If you were to tell a woman that you are available to her if she needs anything what are you really saying?

Shelby,

I like you and I'd like to help. I probably would like to have a relationship with you. 

Scott

Corpus Christi

Just got to Corpus Christi. It's beach weather.

Interesting SHEnglish Translation

I was just talking to one of my girlfriends and I told her that several times lately my men friends have asked me why a woman doesn't text them back when they've made plans to go do something (and each time my man friend thought things were going well). My girlfriend said that if a man doesn't think enough of her to call her on the phone and ask her out which is a sign of respect in her mind, then she doesn't bother texting back.

Good, short read

http://www.singleswarehouse.co.uk/2012/04/my-top-9-titles-for-dating-profile-photos/

Too much, too fast on OKCupid

Your profile caught my eye..and I just had to say hello..hoping i could be granted that opportunity to know each other better and possibly meet..I would even be open to setting the flight up..I live near the beach in Northeast Florida, St Augustine..Hope to hear back from you..

RALPH

B.J.'s SHEnglish Translation 2

I asked B.J. what it means when a woman replies, "It's complicated." after being asked if she's married. B.J. says it means, "I'm still married but done and my bags are packed."

B.J.'s SHEnglish Translation

I asked what she means if she says to a man, "Let's just be friends." She says it means if I'm out and I see you, you can buy my drinks. Or, if I need someone to help me lift something really heavy I'll call you.

Romantic interlude

Recently, I was meeting my current guy for what I thought was a romantic evening together. Instead, it was a menage a trois. You can imagine my dismay. Let me explain what happened. I arrived in an almost quaint but at least small Texas town where he had checked in to one of the few hotels. We proceeded to express our longing for each other in a not as intimate as I would have liked way, when he kissed his own arm. That's when I knew I wasn't there for an intimate, romantic evening with a sweet and charming man but I was there for a threesome with a schmuck, his ego and me. That was a first and I certainly hope the last.

Marty's comment on online dating profiles

Marty,

Online men frequently say they're; attractive, intelligent, and easy going in their profiles, Can you comment on those descriptors and tell me what men are trying to get across to women they are hoping to attract online?

S

Shelby,

Attractive=I have so much self-esteem that I think I'm good looking and you should too

Intelligent=I can hold up my end of a conversation and won't embarrass you in public

Easy going= You'll win every argument (since women always have to be right)

Marty

Marty's MANglish Translation 9

Marty,

If you're out with the woman you're dating and she takes your photo and you say, "Don't put my picture on Facebook." what does that mean?

Shel

Shelby,

That means I want to maintain my single status on Facebook.

Marty

Marty's MANglish Translation

Marty,

If you tell the woman you're dating that you don't want to hurt her what does that mean?

Shel

Shelby,

That's a weird one: I guess it means, I don't want to be exclusive, you're not the one and I'm not reliable in a relationship.

Marty

Marty's MANglish Translation 6

Marty,

  

If you say to a woman that you don't believe in soul mates what does that mean?

S

Shelby,

Personally, I don't believe in that term, soul mates, because I don't think that I am anyone's soul mate.  I think I'm too aloof for that... and another aloof person is not the soul mate of an aloof person.  In Manglish, maybe it could mean - I've lowered my expectations and so should you.

Marty

Last video this morning

http://www.youtube.com/attribution_link?a=jRTGIuy4krw&u=/watch?v%3DW-w-yUdpbDY%26list%3DPL05C232BB551225EA%26feature%3Dshare%26index%3D9

Another relationship video

http://www.youtube.com/attribution_link?a=ZTsiUwwUMK0&u=/watch?v%3DW-z31OAauP0%26list%3DPL05C232BB551225EA%26feature%3Dshare%26index%3D21

More Wendy

http://www.youtube.com/attribution_link?a=Ha4Cec2qqLY&u=/watch?v%3DX-l55R_MW5Q%26list%3DPL05C232BB551225EA%26feature%3Dshare%26index%3D23

Watch this

http://www.youtube.com/attribution_link?a=zYi4FEHUfrg&u=/watch?v%3DUD4bceKdiJU%26list%3DPL05C232BB551225EA%26feature%3Dshare%26index%3D33

Helpful lnk

http://www.youtube.com/attribution_link?a=SyyDoohIZ5s&u=/watch?v%3Dw59fU4t1fM0%26list%3DPL05C232BB551225EA%26feature%3Dshare%26index%3D29

Marty's MANglish Translation 3

Marty,

Gillian and I have spoken about this as well as, Vivi and Beth we're not sure why men bring up marriage all the time. Either they want to get married right away which is really scary or they bring up that they don't want to get married now. Could you explain what it means in MANglish when a man asks you about getting married when you've been dating a very short time and conversely explain what it means when a man says, "I don't want to get married now." 

Thanks,

Shel

Shelby,

I'm not sure why men would be so eager to get married.  I do know that some guys feel very comfortable being married.  My friend Rich said he wants to marry his girlfriend "because she's a good chick and she keeps my house really clean and she has good weed."  If a guy says that he doesn't want to be married then he's probably just paranoid that the woman is on the hunt for a husband.  Marriage seems to be so important for so many females. 

M

I need to read this again

http://www.singleswarehouse.co.uk/2014/06/top-10-dating-tips-for-picky-daters/

Marty's comment on the Friend Zone

If you say to a woman, "Let's just be friends." what does that mean?

ANSWER - Either sex has created problems with us or I don't want to have sex with you anymore.

Marty's MANglish Translation 7

If you say you're looking for an independent woman what does that men in MANglish?

ANSWER - When I say that I mean - I don't want to be your whole world.  I need you to not bother me very much. 

Marty's MANglish Translation 5

If you tell a woman you'll take her somewhere that you would not typically go e.g., a Barbie Convention, antiquing, etc. what does that mean?

ANSWER - It means I'm interested in her romantically. 

Marty's MANglish Translation 2

If you were to tell a woman that you are available to her if she needs anything what are you really saying?

 -- Unless you're going to f@ck me at some point please don't ever ask me to do anything for you. 

Interesting

http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=13447&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=2877628

Ron's MANglish Translation 8

Ron,

Online men frequently say they're; attractive, intelligent, and easy going in there profiles. Can you comment on those descriptors and tell me what men are trying to get across to women they are hoping to attract online?

S

Shel,

Attractive:  Guys realize that most women aren't visual like guys.  So, if they can convince a woman that they aren't so ugly then the woman will be attracted to him.

Intelligent:  I'm smarter than you

Easy going:  I won't yell at you and degrade you when you forget that I don't like Miller Lite.

Ron

Ron's MANglish Translation 6

Ron,

If you say to a woman that you don't believe in soul mates what does that mean?

Shelby

S,

That I am not emotionally available.

Ron

Ron's MANglish Translation

Ron,

What does it mean if a man tells the woman he is dating that he doesn't want to hurt her?

S

Shelby,

He wants to continue to have sex but he doesn't want her to get emotionally attached.

Ron

Ron's MANglish Translation 3

Ron,

Gillian and I have spoken about this as well as, Vivi and Beth we're not sure why men bring up marriage all the time. Either they want to get married right away which is really scary or they bring up that they don't want to get married now. Could you explain what it means in MANglish when a man asks you about getting married when you've been dating a very short time and conversely explain what it means when a man says, "I don't want to get married now." 

Thanks,

S

Shelby,

He says he will marry you if he thinks it will get you in the sack quickly.  He says he doesn't want to get married if he wants to distance himself for whatever reason and he thinks you will still give him sex.

Ron's comment on the Friend Zone

Ron,

If you say to a woman, "Let's just be friends." what does that mean?

S

Shelby,

I don't want to see you anymore or I found someone else to have sex with.

Ron

Ron's MANglish Translation 7

Here is Ron's translation to my MANglish dilemma:

If you say you're looking for an independent woman what does that men in MANglish? - I don't want you around when I don't want to have sex.

Ron's MANglish Translation 5

Ron's email in response to inquiry:

If you tell a woman you'll take her somewhere that you would not typically go e.g., a Barbie Convention, antiquing, etc. what does that mean? - I'll do anything to get you in bed.

Ron's Manglish Translation 2

I am just going to copy and paste Ron's emails to me so it easier and quicker, plus I don't know if anyone would believe his responses if I didn't just copy and paste.

If you were to tell a woman that you are available to her if she needs anything what are you really saying? - I don't really want to help but if my laziness makes  you not want to have sex with me then I'll help.

Joey's MANglish Translation 4

Joey said when he tells a woman that he wants her to be able to talk to him about anything, he wants her to reveal herself but he's not ready to tell her his secrets yet.

Weddings

One of my best friends is a wedding photographer who says most of the weddings she works these days are for couples who met online.

Viral video

Tony told me that he's hoping his video on online dating and MANglish online doesn't go viral. I told him not to worry & thought why did you do it if you're worried.

Gillian's Match.com Date

Gillian went on one date with a man from Match.com before all of her regular customers told her that Match.com is all married guys trying to hook up (I don't know that that's true). Gillian met the prospective man for a drink. She asked me to go along in case he was some but job. She thought he was fun and very entertaining. We did laugh a lot. He told the funniest story about meeting a woman from Match.com in Dallas who asked to use his bathroom (in his hotel room) and came back in a teddy and hunched leg. This was after she showed up, he determined he was catfished and when his prearranged phone call came he said there was a family emergency so he needed to leave. My checks hurt I laughed so hard. Gil was pretty smitten. As usual I noticed something; His earlobes were funny ( gotta remember to re-read Advice For Picky Daters again). In a short time, Gil went out on a date with her match and he never called again. He told her she lived too far away. Gil's feelings were hurt but I told her he was trying to let her down easy by saying she lived too far away. The truth; Though she felt like there was chemistry there he didn't.

Thisbe's comment on OKCupid message

When Thisbe and I were talking about men, the blog& OKCupid yesterday, I mentioned the that I got a message from a guy who said, "l like your lips. I want to kiss them." That was his online introduction to me. Thisbe said it disgusted her which prompted me to imagine guys loading profile pictures of women and choking the chicken. They could whack off endlessly unbeknownst to the OKCupid user. No wonder some people are hesitant to put up a profile picture. I didn't put one IP for two years. Marty said it doesn't matter if women upload a photo or not but then I told him that only a few men messaged me prior to the upload of my photo (and when I deleted old messages recently there were hundreds and that's not including the ones I deleted along the way). He was surprised. Marty said he messages women who don't have photos and figures he's not being catfished. I reminded him that I bought my friend, Gilliam, a membership on Match.com for a month one time so we could pursue during Christmas break. I made sure I uploaded a fantastic picture of her and said her interests were drinking beer and shopping. Over elevin hundred men winked at her, messaged her and visited her profile. At the time Gilliam never emailed anyone so she asked to do her online responses. I was busier than a one legged guy in a rear kicking contest. I wondered if I had written the perfect profile for Gillian due to all the interest she inspired. To this day I have no idea if it was the photo, the profile or the lack of SHEnglish (maybe she seemed like the perfect woman).

Thisbe's comment

I was talking to my girlfriend Thisbe about the blog. In our discussion MANglish Translation 2 came up. I told her about my comments and that I would not tell a man I'm dating that I want him to be able to talk to me about anything. Thisbe said she had never said that to a man she was dating and never would. She added her friends know she is there for them it goes without saying friendship based relationships but she would be sure and reassure a good friend by stating it if a tragedy arose.

Nick's MANglish Translation 9

When I asked Nick (a single guy in his mid 20's who's looking and uses OKCupid) what it means when a man tells the woman he's dating not to post his picture on Facebook. He said it means the guys a jerk.

Joey's MANglish Translation 9

I asked Joey to tell me what it means if he's out with the woman he's dating and they're celebrating a special occasion and when she snaps a photo of him he tells her, "Don't put my picture on Facebook." Joey said he feels like letting your social circle and family know who you're seeing is a big step and if you don't want everyone to know its because you're not ready to let everyone know who you're seeing yet.

Joey's MANglish Translation 7

Joey is the first person I know who uses OKCupid. I used to log in as him and help him decide which women he should message. I started using OKCupid. I noticed some men say they are looking for an independent woman. I asked Joey what he thinks that means. For Joey that means: She better have a job; Don't expect a free ride and; Don't even be thinking about talking/hanging out 24/7.

Joey's MANglish Translation 6

I texted Joey and asked him, "If you were to tell a woman that you didn't believe in soul mates what are you really saying?" His reply, "I've been f@cked over one too many times and don't want to commit right now."

Joey's MANglish Translation 5

When I asked Joey what it means when he tells a woman he'll go antiquing with her or take her to a Barbie Convention he said it means he likes hanging out with her.

Other OKCupid messages

Hey sexy!

I like your lips. I want to kiss them.

Happy Sunday to you, Pretty. How is weekend? Reading your profile for the first time on the site so much got me intrigued and sparkles my interest in you alot as well. I will like to get to know you better. Can i have your cellphone number or email address for me to be able to stay in touch with you directly? 
Best wishes,

Geoff

Wow ur such a hottie!!😍😍😍

How are you?

How do I get to meet you?

Hello

One of the nicer messages I've gotten on OKCupid

Hi, I saw ur profile and now I seem to keep coming back to it over and over! How long have you been in North Texas? I currently live in Atlanta but will be transferring back here in about two months. I'm in Waco now visiting family for a few weeks and would love to know more about you! Brad

Ron's MANglish Translation 9

Ron recently told the woman he was dating not put his picture on Facebook when they were out celebrating and he said it was because he is a very private person (a  private person with a Facebook page, ?????).

Joey's MANglish Translation 2

Joey says that if he tells a woman that he is available for her if she needs anything it means he wants to get to know her, he is trying to endear himself to her or he is trying to get laid.

Joey's MANglish Translation 3

When Joey tells a woman he's dating, "I don't want to get married right now." he is really telling that he wants to keep hanging out and hooking up.

Joey's MANglish Translation

According to Joey if he tells a woman he doesn't want to hurt her he is about to hurt her.

Another idea about OKCupid

I could be getting 90 views a day on OKCupid because Marty changed my settings to his for a while so sometimes women show up on my matches and transvestites. He broadened my horizons for me.

Josh's Comment on the Friend Zone

The only reason Josh would say to a woman, "Let's just be friends." is because he is breaking up with her.

Josh's MANglish Translation 9

Josh and I talked about what it would mean to him if he was out with a woman celebrating or at the beach and his date took his photo and he told her not to post the picture to Facebook. He says that would mean he is not ready to go public with the relationship.

Josh's MANglish Translation 7

When Josh says, "I want to be with an independent woman." it means I'm not needy.

Josh's MANglish Translation 6

Telling the woman he's dating that he doesn't believe in soul mates is the same thing as saying, "You're a good fit for me." to Josh.

Josh's MANglish Translation 5

When I asked Josh what it means when he says to a woman, "I'll go antiquing with you." he said it means he's horny.

Josh's MANglish Translation 4

When Josh says to a woman he is dating, "I want you to be able to talk to me about anything." That he saying, "Don't keep things bottled up inside."

Josh's MANglish Translation 3

I asked Josh what it would mean if he were to say to the woman he's dating, "I don't want to get married now."? He said that would mean it's too early to commit.

Josh's MANhlish Translation 2

Josh says he has never told a woman that he's available if she needs anything so he has no idea what it means. Maybe he hasn't had to try very hard or work on his game since he's a young jock.

Josh's MANglish Translation

Josh, who is in his thirties says that when he tells a woman he's dating that he doesn't want to hurt her he is saying, "Something is going to hurt you." I took that to mean his actions.

Tony's MANglish Translation 8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ySO9Z2kOiw

Tony's MANglish Translation 10 Friend Zone

If Tony says, "Let's just be friends." it means, "I enjoy what we do behind closed doors but let's not mess things up or complicate things."

Tony's MANglish Translation 9

To maintain consistency this post is labeled number 9 so it will match James' MANglish Translation. I asked Tony what it means if you're out with a guy having a good time, you take his picture and he says to you, "Don't put that picture on Facebook." And Tony said if he said that it means, "Let's keep this on the down low. I don't want my other women to know I'm kickin' it with you this weekend."

Tony's MANglish Translation 7

I told Tony that the men say they are looking for independent women on their OKCupid profiles and I asked what that means. He said in his opinion it means, "You better have a job and your own money and don't think you're going to be moving in any time soon."

Tony's MANglish Translation 6

I asked Tony what it meant if he tells a woman that he doesn't believe in soul mates. He said that if he said that to a woman it would mean the he means that it doesn't matter one way or the other if it works out with her because he doesn't necessarily believe they are meant to be together.

Tony's MANglish Translation 5

When Tony says to a woman, " I'll go with you to the Barbie convention or antiquing." neither of which he has an interest in it's because he is really saying, "Any time spent with you is better than no time spent with you."

Tony's MANglish Translation 4

According to Tony if he says, "I want you to be able to talk to me about anything." to a woman he is realy saying, "I want to gain your emotional trust so I can gain physical intimacy."

Tony's MANglish Translation 3

I asked Tony what it means if a man says to a woman, "I don't want to get married right now." He said it means the man wants to keep his options open in case something better comes along.

Tony's MANglish Translation 2

Tony told me when he tells a woman he's available if she needs anything that he means, "Call me for any & every thing you need & when I have enough cuchie coupons I'm cashing in."

Tony's MANglish Translations

Tony says when he says to a woman, "I don't want to hurt you." It means, "I am emotionally unavailable to you.", " I will not be in a committed relationship with you.", or "I will not be monogamous with you."

I just discovered Rule #5

As a joke a guy asked me if I had heard of Rule #5. He suggested I become familiar with it. And I think it can be useful if I am going to actively participate in online dating in the future. Rule #5 HARDEN THR F@CK UP!

Contempt

No matter what a man or woman says if it is said with contempt that is a sure sign of impending doom.

Soul Mate

Marty says men who say they're looking for their soul mates in their online profiles are saying that because men think that's what women want to hear/believe. 

Intelligent

Marty and I had a chat about people who say they're intelligent on their online profiles. I told Marty that I think it's a bit odd to say you're intelligent on your profile and he asked me why. I said That I wouldn't say that about myself. I think that it's easy to discern if someone is intelligent or not when you read their profile. If the person can't write a sentence or spell I usually have my doubts. And people I know who are very intelligent never talk about how smart they are. Marty said he thinks it's okay for someone to describe himself or herself as intelligent and that in addition to describing themselves as intelligent, frequently women say they're looking for an intelligent man. I wondered who would get on an online dating site and say they want to meet a dumb ass. Isn't it a given that a man or a woman would want to meet someone intelligent or of equal intelligence. Why state the obvious? Is it necessary? I'm going to have to rethink my online profile.

As a side note, one of my lifelong girlfriends always said she wouldn't marry a man who sat at a desk and that she wanted to marry someone who did manual labor. Why? She thought if her busted his ass all day at work he would too tired to cheat on her.

Hemorrhoids

I f your boyfriend keeps saying he doesn't want to ride bikes with you because he has hemorrhoids, he really doesn't like to ride bikes.

Get more dates

http://singledatingdiva.com/2014/06/23/dating-five-things-you-should-do-right-now-to-get-more-dates/

Inversion Table

The best thing about having an inversion table: no need for a boob job (lift).

More of James' MANglishTranslations

James says when a man stipulates that he wants to be with an independent woman it also means that he wants be with a woman who will go do her own thing if he feels like watching football rather than nagging him to do something with her.

About James' MANglish Translations Continued

When I was thinking men are always plotting and everything they say to women is for one reason and one reason only--they are only trying to get women to have sex with them--I was projecting (I was thinking about myself). All kidding aside, I am re-evaluating what I think of men. 

About James' Manglish Translations

All of James' translations were enlightening. I thought men were more simple than they are and that if a man offers to listen to me or help me fix something that is broken it,s just so I will have sex with him. But according to James that's not always true sometimes the man is just trying to have sex with one of my friends. Or, as James pointed out, it could the man is genuinely trying win the object of his affections over. 

James' MANglish Translation 9

I asked James what it means if a man says, "Don't post my picture on Facebook." not "Don't take my picture." because some people don't like they're pictures taken. He said it means that the man is already involved with someone else or hoping to be.

James' MANglish Translation 8

There are several statements men make in their online profiles which I found weird and not something I would ever say about myself so I asked James about them. Most men say they are; I'm easy going, I'm intelligent, I'm attractive, and I've been very fortunate. James said like me he would not make those statements about himself. He said for him if he told someone he is easy going it would mean he's lazy and doesn't want any honey do lists. He said he could not imagine telling a woman he's intelligent but if he did it would really mean that he's insecure about his intelligence. James said he'd never tell a woman he's attractive it's just no this personality so he doesn't know what that means. I told him that many if not most of the men who say they're attractive are not by normal standards and especially not my standards since I am a little too picky in that area (I'm working on being less superficial). Last, I told James that many men say they have been very fortunate and then talk about how much they travel or that they've managed to retire early and they have plenty of time to spend with some lucky lady. James said he would not ever say he has been fortunate in a profile but if he did he would say he has been very fortunate to have such wonderful friends and family. I thought that was so sweet and what really counts is the people in your life and the love you give to them.

James' MANglish Translation 7

James says he and his friend Justin just talked about this and think the same thing. When a man says he wants an independent woman. He means he would like to go out with or date a woman who at least offers to buy a round or something occasionally because it is extremely expensive to date. 

James' MANglish Translation 6

I asked James what it means when a man says he doesn't believe in soul mates. He says when guys say that it is not anything personal but most men don't believe in soul mates, unicorns or psychics. Women are the ones who buy into that crap.

James' MANglish Translation 5

James says when a guy says he'll take a woman antique shopping or to some event he is not into (and then takes her) he is saying that he's willing to make sacrifices for her but she probably should not get used to it. Or and this is a big OR the guy expects something like a blow job in return. He did something nice for her that he considers a sacrifice and now it's her turn.

James' MANglish Translation 4

James says when a man tells a woman he wants her to be able to talk to him about anything. He is really saying one one of two things. If he is a good listener and a shoulder to cry on then she will recommend him to her friends and he can hook up with one of them. That's if he finds her unattractive. If the man finds the woman attractive then he says something like that to her hoping she will see him as a good friend and realize how great he is and fall for him.

James' MANglish Translation 3

When a man says to a woman that he is available if she needs anything. James say there are two possible translations. One translation is, "I'm here to offer non-sexual man services because you might have a friend who you can talk me up to and then she and I can hook because I am not interested in you in that way at all." Translation two is, "I am willing to do nice things for you and offer my non-sexual man services because I am hoping you will fall in love with me." James says sometimes when a man is offering non-sexual man services hoping he can hook up with one of your attractive friends eventually, it sometimes pays off. But when a man does nice things and offers his non-sexual man services hoping some woman will fall for him it never works out (or very rarely works out).

James' MANglish Translation 2

I asked James what it means when a man says, "I don't want to get married right now." He said it means that the man needs to get his shit together. If he said that to a woman it would mean he wants to get everything squared away before he gets married because that would just complicate things and he would worry the woman would nag him about getting things taken care of or ridicule him how he ended up in the mess he is in.

James' MANglish Translations

Since James has been on the road and and super busy hypnotizing people in Colorado and New Mexico (catch his show if you can he's very funny), I finally said let me read the list of statements I have written down that confused me when they were said to me. I asked him what it means when a man says, "I don't want to hurt you." He says it means one of two things: the man has already met someone else and in the event that relationship doesn't work out he wants to stay on good terms with the woman so they can hook back up later or the man hasn't met another woman yet but wants to and he wants to keep the woman he is currently seeing around until he does meet another woman and if the new relationship (Plan B) doesn't work then the man just reverts back to Plan A because she has been on the back burner.

Joey made me promise

Yesterday, while Joey and I were talking about his drunk text, SHEnglish and friend zone episodes, he said he never wants to hear the name of my ex boyfriend again. He said it's time to move on. He's right. I realized I worry that every guy will be just like him (a liar) and I have to get over it. My guy friends are all so nice and wonderful and that's the type of guy I want to end up with.

James and Marty on OKCupid profiles

Both, James and Marty told me that women try to come off as super heroes in the online OKCupid profiles. They said it is a turn off. Many of the women say they want someone to go mountain climbing with and list all these hobbies like, skiing, etc.  Some guys do that too.Guys usually brag about being; smart, attractive, active, love to travel, etc. i don't think I said any of the things men or women say in their profiles but I have been thinking I need to revamp my profile. Plus, I don't write anyone back so that makes men antsy about writing. I just don't want to lead anyone on. I don't write back because I am not interested. Unfortunately, for quite a few men that translates differently in their heads so they keep writing and asking why I won't write, what do they have to do to meet me, yadda, yadda, yadda. If someone does not write or communicate it is not because he/she is playing games it's because he/she doesn't want to communicate.

James thinks the algorithm

may be crap. Some of the profiles he reads of these 90 something percent matches are not to his liking. I told him my one favorite on there (I just double checked) is a 95% match. I don't what the friendship score is but I guess I'll find out. We got along generally but are in different places. I want to date someone for a long time and hope to someday have someone to come home to.

The way men/women see themselves

James says men see themselves as more attractive than they are and women nit pick themselves to death. And I agree. Men who came in clubs where I worked were completely delusional about themselves. I noticed men would talk about the woman they wanted to meet and they were so picky. I'd point out a woman and ask if she was the right type. Many times she would be a seven or an 8 on a scale of one to 10. They would respond her butt is too big or something equivalent while they hadn't seen their penises besides in the mirror in 15 or 17 years because of their huge bellies. These guys were about a two or three on the same scale. For me personally, I have gone out with my fair share peacocks that's what I call them. Men who have a strange view of themselves as some prize and brag about how great they are while also being insecure about the wrong things. Overall I think most men see themselves as The Brave Hunter.  

Nice gestures

Nice gestures which seem sincere and seal the deal. On a recent first date, my date took me to a small, popular tapas restaurant. Since I was a little nervous, I drank a glass of wine. When I needed to go to the ladies room, I asked if he would accompany me since I wasn't familiar with my surroundings. He gallantly said yes so I put out my hand and he reached for it. When I took his hand and he walked me to the ladies room it was a gentlemanly gesture which made my heart melt. The little things are important.

Obvious MANglish

When you first start dating someone he says things like:

" I’ll take you to the Barbie Convention if you want to go." 

What he man is really saying:

I'll say or do anything to get you to have sex with me.

And the woman thinks the man is saying he is committed to doing things with her that she likes to do.

Last questions I answered on OKCupid

Do you like the taste of blood?

Would you date someone strictly on the fact that they are well endowed?

Would you date someone who spent considerable time in prison?

Do you ever get inspired to make something creative for no reason in particular?

Would you do a striptease for your mate?

These questions can be answered privately or publicly, additionally, it's possible to skip the questions. I guess if I think the questions are too personal I can just skip them but why not answer privately if I am trying to get a match base on OKCupid's algorithm. I do wonder who the heck likes the taste of blood. I don't have a vampire fantasy. And who would dismiss a wonderful man just because he wasn't well endowed or counter who would date someone based on his penis size. I know I have changed my mind about going out with a man because his nickname was horse. I wasn't sure how he got the nickname but there were implications made by his medic buddies that he had the nickname because of his penis size. Also, I used to serve rum and soda with a splash of coke to man who tipped me outrageously and bragged about his penis size. It was not turn on for me. I told him that big penises can be dangerous. But he kept sitting in my section and tipping me hundreds of dollars. He wanted what he couldn't have...The question about baffles me a bit. Why is the word "considerable" in the question. Why insert "considerable" rather than "any". I don't know that I would go out with someone who spent any time in prison. I like the question about being creative. And didn't mind answering it publicly. The strip question is a little personal to answer publicly and I don't know that I would fell confident doing a striptease dance for someone I'm dating, maybe if I took an exercise class which incorporated striptease. I do know for sure I don't want someone I date to do a striptease dance for me. It is not a turn on for me. If I get to the point that a guy being considerate and nice aren't turn ons for me anymore and I need my significant other to do a strip tease for me then I am throwing in the towel on the whole dating thing.

One of my favorite questions on OKCupid

For some reason I love the question:

Which is more romantic kissing in

Paris

A tent

My answer was Paris. Maybe I love the question because someone mentioned my answer to me when he contacted me and I thought that was romantic. I guess I'm easily pleased and I was happy a man read my answers on OKCupid.

Profile names

I find it hard to believe any woman would contact a guy on OKCupid who has the words "taco", "cum" or "69" in their profile names but women must contact them because they're still on the site. Maybe there are women who think it's clever.

Really strange question on OKCupid

I find this question strange but know one of the people writing the questions have been asked to do it which is hilarious.

While in the middle of the best lovemaking of your life, if your lover asked you to squeal like a dolphin, would you?

Answers to choose from are:

Absolutely
No way
The best maybe

Another OKCupid question

I wonder if people answer this question truthfully:

Would you be comfortable masturbating in front of a partner?

I was divorced in my head (SHEnglish)

When James' ex wife came back from Singapore where she was working. She confessed to him that she had had an affair. James was devastated and couldn't believe what he was hearing. He was surprised (in a bad way) and didn't understand how she could have done such a thing. He said as an explanation or excuse during their conversation she told him that when she started with some married guy overseas that she was already divorced in her mind. James said he still has not figured out what it meant when his ex wife told him that and he has pondered it for years. I think his ex wife was extremely selfish and had lost all respect she had for their marriage and didn't care if she hurt him. I think she took the chicken shit way out of the marriage. It's much easier to do something self destructive (or marriage destructive) than to talk to your partner and confront issues head on. Anyone can cheat on his or her spouse for a multitude of reasons; for attention, for sex, for companionship, etc. but it takes real courage and commitment to work on a relationship.

When a woman says, "I was divorced in my head when I screwed someone besides you (my husband). She is really saying, "I decided to take the lazy, chicken shit way out of our marriage." It's plain and simple.

Joey and psycho SHEnglish

Joey called me and he was super excited about a girl he had started seeing. He wanted know what I thought about something she said. So I said sure I'll tell you what I think. And I asked what she said. Joey gave me a little history (very little since they had just met). He told me that he had been on three dates with this girl from India who is a professional with a good job and that she had told him that she loved him. I asked Joey if she had the crazy eyes. He asked what I meant. I said no one could love you after three dates; you don't even know each other. I told him he needed to run as fast as he could in the other direction away from her. Against my advice he saw her again and slept with her. Then he texted her and she would text him back. Joey asked me what it meant when she didn't text him back. I said, "It means she doesn't want to talk/communicate with you." I told him when he slept with her and didn't say he loved her she was done. She thought when she slept with him he would fall for her and he didn't so she threw in the towel.

Joey and SHEnglish

My friend, Joey, just forwarded a text message to me and asked what it means. First of all, it was a drunk text since it was sent 1:36 a.m. Second, it was from the girl/woman who yanked him around for three years. They worked together and were coffee/lunch/drinking buddies. Joey also listened to her when she needed a friend. When she caught her boyfriend cheating on her Joey even helped her move. But when he shared his true feelings for her she said she wasn't ready to date anyone even though she was already seeing someone else. And she sent him to the friend zone. If I remember right he told he wasn't interested in friendship at first and then she wore him down and he became friends with her. With that background in mind, this is what the text said, "I hope you know how much I love you." So when Joey asked me what the text meant I said, "She probably wants you to help her move again."