I was divorced in my head (SHEnglish)

When James' ex wife came back from Singapore where she was working. She confessed to him that she had had an affair. James was devastated and couldn't believe what he was hearing. He was surprised (in a bad way) and didn't understand how she could have done such a thing. He said as an explanation or excuse during their conversation she told him that when she started with some married guy overseas that she was already divorced in her mind. James said he still has not figured out what it meant when his ex wife told him that and he has pondered it for years. I think his ex wife was extremely selfish and had lost all respect she had for their marriage and didn't care if she hurt him. I think she took the chicken shit way out of the marriage. It's much easier to do something self destructive (or marriage destructive) than to talk to your partner and confront issues head on. Anyone can cheat on his or her spouse for a multitude of reasons; for attention, for sex, for companionship, etc. but it takes real courage and commitment to work on a relationship.

When a woman says, "I was divorced in my head when I screwed someone besides you (my husband). She is really saying, "I decided to take the lazy, chicken shit way out of our marriage." It's plain and simple.