Fun Halloween at work

My skeleton

Happy Halloween

Finally wearing the wedding dress I bought three years ago, it did come in handy for something.

Happy Halloween

I'm thinking about being a bride for Halloween.

Finally

At last, I realize some people aren't worth it. It took long enough. I guess I am stubborn or hard headed so it takes a long time for me to give up on something or someone. It may have been something Ronni said to me that prompted the revelation. She told me that if I could see myself through her eyes I would have a different opinion of myself. Maybe she was just bs'ing me but she followed with a couple of very nice compliments. I guess that's what your girlfriends are supposed to do; encourage, comfort, etc. It's great to have friends.

Ronni

Ronni told me she often feels she has made bad decisions. We were talking and I said, "There is not one guy I've dated that I regret the fact that he got away." I never have that feeling, "Dang it! I can't believe that one got away." And Ronni said she feels that way about everyone she ever dated and I thought it was so sad but then again maybe I am the one who is delusional and I'm fooling myself by thinking things have worked out the way they were supposed for me. I don't know but I don't want to settle for being with someone who is not my best friend.

Thank you

I loved the "Thank you Dr. Salk" today on Google.

From Reno (He must need a Green Card)

my name is antonio and i want you to know that I'm very impressed with your profile. I've been on this for few days now and looking to finding love. I really will love to get to know more about you and see what the future holds for us.. . Please endeavour to send me a reply
hope to read from you soonest

Broken

First kiss

My adopted son

Jose, who is my adopted son, asked me what it is I like about him. He started out with, "Can I ask you something?" and I asked, "Is this a SHEnglish question?" and he said, "Yes." I told him that when we talk he is sincere. He's not trying to get me to like him. H just acts like himself. He has the same core values as me; he doesn't lie to me or try to steal from anyone and he values his family and his relationships. When we talk he is not trying to impress me or make false impressions of himself. Many times when a guy is on a date with me or talking to me and we're trying to get to know each other, the guy comes off as some kind of ego maniac or full of himself and he certainly seems more concerned with what I think of him than in being sincere. I have had many men lie to me about things that were mostly not worth lying about and in most cases the truth would have been a better an more believable story. I don't know why men do that. It usually makes me suspicious of the man later. When a man lies to me I never know if I can believe anything he says after that because I know he is capable of lying. And I always feel like the man is not sincere with me when he lies and I feel like I have been discounted as some judgmental, superficial bitch when a man thinks he can't trust me with the truth. My girlfriend, Ronni, thinks that says more about the man tan me but that's another story. I told Jose just be himself because people can tell when you're not being sincere. Also, Ronni and I have had the same experience over and over again. When you're friends with someone the person accepts you and many times our men friends have fallen for us but our common thread with our male friendships end there. She has slept with many of her male friends and it got weird. I have not. I have dated one of male friends only. And after 27 years of friendship the dynamic did change and our friendship has not been the same so I have not dated one of my long time male friends since. It was not worth the loss and longing to me. But overall I think when someone see you for who you are how could the person feel anything but love. And feel very fortunate to have glimpsed it.

Ronni

Ronni says the only reason I want someone who doesn't want me is because it invalidates me. She thinks when she'd been rejected it made her feel invalidated and that it is a human condition.

Planner's article

http://www.custommade.com/blog/walkable-urbanism/

Sustainable shopper article

http://www.custommade.com/blog/sustainable-furniture/?utm_source=exacttarget&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=customer_newsletter&utm_content=20141025_Jewelry&utm_term=86957

Work strong v. Work out strong

Marty and I are convinced work strong is by far better than work out strong. People who labor are so much stronger than the guys who go to the gym. More about this later. I have a really funny story about a guy from my gym.

Online shopping

I did some online shopping last night and by the time I used my cash back and bonus code I paid $5.00 for $75.00 of clothes.

Big Saturday Night

I'm doing laundry and watching Numb3rs on Netflix. It's first time I have been able to do laundry at home since I moved to Seabrook. I think laundry is my favorite task because it's so easy. When someone says he/she is not good at laundry i wonder what ind of numb-skull you'd have to be to suck at laundry.

Tie

Going to google how to tie a tie. I bought a tie at J. Crew and I am anxious to wear it but I haven't tied a tie since Nick was in high school. 

Yesterday

yesterday, before I could even say, "I'm not into that." this lady shoved her finger up my arse. At least there was no copay (but I still felt violated).

The view of the bay from Christus Spohn

Morning

The rain has stopped for now and I'm reading Jack Kerouac's On the Road while I wait for my posse to come down stairs with some notion of our day's events. I'm wondering if I should be part of the entourage who posts itself at the hospital anxiously awaits even the tiniest fragment of hope through an accomplishment that would have been less than trivial a week and a half ago or assign myself to a duty that would have insignificant and routine in the very recent past but now is something that has been relegated the list of tasks which can wait while priorities are realigned in the midst of tragedy. 

Raining

It's raining in Corpus Christi which is something that didn't happen the whole five years I lived here. There was a drought my entire stay. I'm visiting my posse. They've had rough time lately. The matriarch of the family had a stroke during a quadruple bypass, one boss was fired and one died. I hope the bad times are over for now. 

My office neighbor & yoga partner, June

June & I at work. She is so sweet. I am glad she offices across the hall from me. It makes my day when she comes in and says, "I'm home." it cracks me up. The first time she said that instead of "Good Morning." I cracked up.

Picture of my little angel, Nick

James has a girlfriend

and he didn't even have to blow her up;-)

Still have hurt feelings

I was talking about my crappy love life today with Nathan. And I told him that I'm pretty much done with men after my last experience but lesbians don't really like me. Nathan laughed and I said the only lesbian who ever acted like she might be flirting with me a little was Ellen Degenerous when she was working at Laff's Comedy Warehouse back when I was a waitress there. When she signed my shirt I asked her to sign the back and replied that I was probably just wanting a back rub. Maybe she wasn't flirting but I thought she was. I'd like to think she was flirting with me so at least the one time a lesbian acted interested she was cute and funny.

Done working

I was so happy to get home tonight; worked over 12 hours today.

OKCupid

Until yesterday I wasn't aware that someone can contact a subscriber of OKCupid even if not a subscribing to the site. I was contacted by someone. I was contacted by a non-subscriber which kind of freaked me out. Why wouldn't the guy just sign up? Since I thought it was kind of creepy I put the guy off in the nicest way I could. Later, I thought about it and I am not interested in meeting anyone right now. Since I am not 100% over the guy I met last year it wouldn't be fair to go out with anyone right now. I know it's a waste of time to carry a torch for someone who's not interested but I'm not one of those people who can just shut off her feelings so I have to work through it the best I can. I never really even knw what happened so that still bothers me too.

Wonder

I wonder if people who start new lives ever miss their old lives. It seems like after a divorce or something a person would miss his old life sometimes. I know I miss my old life with my son. Though we had some rough times we had great times too and I long for those days frequently.

Nick

My son, Nick, started laughing his head off when I told home that the massage therapist was digging his elbow and thumb into my back and neck so hard that I started sweating and that it hurt so bad that even my ass was sweating. Nick thought it was hilarious. I'm glad he got a kick out of it. My mom thinks I should go back for another massage since I can turn my head with having excruciating pain now.

Newer Tennis

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-t61OTSCZ4

NYC

Every time I see a movie set in NYC it makes me want to move there. It looks so fun. 

A chore paid off

Yesterday, my horoscope said something about a good find in an antique store...But the hidden treasure was in my own apartment. I decided to finally sort out my jewelry and it was so cool. It was like shopping without having to spend any money. And, the very best part, I found my black pearl earring that I lost about two years ago. I bought them when I did a urban design study abroad in China so I'm sentimental about them. I used to wear those earrings all the time since they go with so many things. 

Finished The Following

The Following was excellent. I'm finished with season two and ready for season three. I'm going to watch an episode or two Peaky Blinders and see what I think. It might be better if I were addicted to something other than Netflix. Now that my neck feels great I can start exercising more...I need a workout partner. That's been helpful to me in the past.

Tennis anyone?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OA4W3YRZqPA

More Tennis from Nick Shelton, my hero

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cc-tHE9QcpQ

My son sent some music today

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gY5kKn24qvs

Update on the massage

For the first time in months, I can turn my head to the side without it hurting. Now, I
'm glad that the massage therapist nearly kicked my ass yesterday because it did the trick. I feel so much better than I have in a very long time.

Happy

I'm glad Government Perry is so dashing and good looking (he's very much a pretty boy, I think he sees himself as the George Clooney of politics) because his good looks might get him some protection from his boyfriend in prison. Because he should be indicted and convicted for handing out funding via the Enterprise Fund to his buddies, who never even filed applications for funding. What a crooked son of a gun. I'm surprised the anomalies were discovered since he kept cutting funding for the Ethics Committee.

Massage

Yesterday, I went to Baybrook Mall to return some my booty from retail therapy last weekend. When I walked out of the Gap store, I saw some massage chairs and people getting massages so I decided to try it because I have had a neck ache for about four months. I haven't had a massage in the mall before and haven't had a lot of massages in general ever since the man (he worked at my gym), who was giving my friends and me massages turned out to be a convicted rapist which is like someone on a diet working in an ice cream shop. The only female massage therapist helped me get oriented in the chair and started the massage. She wasn't rubbing my neck and back very hard and I thought I hope this isn't how the whole massage is going to be. Then one of the male therapist started rubbing my back. Shortly, he started rubbing my back with a lot pressure and I was excited because I thought he might get rid of some of the knots I suspect I have in my back. After a little longer he started digging into my back by my left shoulder blade with his elbow. And he was really going to town on my neck. It hurt so much that even my ass was sweating.  It reminded me of grad school because every time I had to take one of Dr. Marshment's statistics tests. His tests were so hard that I would get sweaty all over - I have terrible test anxiety - my hands would be so sweaty that I couldn't hold onto my pencil. 

New prospect from Plenty of Fish

Marty met a woman on Plenty of Fish this week and has been excited about the texting back and forth and such. I can't even imagine being excited about something like that since my OKCupid match back fired so profoundly.

Yoga

I finally went to the yoga class at lunch this week. It was fantastic. I am so glad that I'm working someplace that encourages a healthy lifestyle maybe it will rub off on me.

The Following

I started watching season two of The Following. It's been a couple of years since I watched the first season. I remember thinking it was so scary. It freaked me out a little bit because the people would do anything for the cult leader. So far the second season is scary and suspenseful too. of course it could be that Kevin Bacon is believable so I have bought into the whole thing 

Funny

Caught this on Netflix (it may still be available there)

http://letterboxd.com/film/unhung-hero/

Going to try this work out this week

http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/glute-workout-5-moves-to-a-better-butt.html

James

My friend, James told me he thinks women lose their power as they get older because they aren't as attractive as they age and as their looks fade so does their power. I told him that I never got asked out when I was young and since my 30's I have been asked out thousands of times. He said that's because I have aged well. I don't know that that's true. I don't think men are only attracted to looks. I think men are attracted women's nurturing. There are other qualities men look for in a mate, at least from my perspective, I think men look for woman who can take care of herself, is stable, has a sense of humor, a best friend and those are just a few of the qualities I think they look for in the a partner. Also, I think men are lonelier than women so they like having someone otherwise there would be so many sexually oriented businesses because many men go into gentlemen's clubs for companionship. If women were as lonely as men there would be far more sexually oriented businesses which cater to women. Men go into topless clubs and look for someone to hang out with and frequently spend a lot of time and money with women whom they never see outside the club but women don't do that and if a woman gives money to a man they are screwing. Men give women money hoping to get some. Women give men money because they are getting some. Men buy women presents hoping to get some. Women buy men presents because they are getting some. Men take women on trips hoping to score. Women take men on trips because they scored. Back to James hypothesis in a future blog.

Ugly ex-boyfriend

Not too long ago, one of my blogs mentioned my ex-boyfriend, Mike and a little tiff we had one time over how many people we had had sex with prior to us getting together. He got upset because I had had sex with more people than he had. And told me he felt like someone kicked him the stomach when he found out. In the blog said that I told him it was because he was ugly and I wasn't. I felt bad after I blogged that but it is the truth. When we met he was really unattractive. After he shaved his head he did look better but he was not good looking at all. He was in good shape because was very active and had worked out for 25 years but his face was not attractive in the least and his teeth were a funny color. When I saw a childhood picture of him in his baseball uniform, I finally knew what the saying a "A face only a mother could love." meant. He had a Ronald McDonald red afro and a hideous face. I was stunned because he looked even worse as a child and I thought most kids were cute (in the old days before people got so darned fat, now most kids aren't cute they're rollie-pollies) but not him. He had gotten better looking as he aged but he was never going to be attractive. Anyway I just wanted to explain that I wasn't being mean or anything by saying he was ugly (on this blog anyway; I don't think it was nice of me to say it to him but we were having a tiff and we both were saying mean things; he probably compared me to his ex or something which would have pissed me off since she cheated on him and would do things like hide banana peals under the couch)  because he was. And in my defense, as I said in the original blog he asked how many men I had had sex with and if you don't want to know the truth don't ask.

Advertising

None of the men on dating websites ever look like the men in the commercials or in the ads. I realize that sounds superficial but there's a photo on the sites for a reason; the first thing people notice about other people is what they look like not what they smell like. James and Marty have both said that they think women don't care that much about what men look like which I thought was weird since I know I do look at the pictures on OKCupid: I did see a really handsome guy on there once but there was only one photo which didn't show his body so who knows what kind of shape he was in and he lived somewhere like Massachusetts (way too far from Texas). Back to visual, I'm wondering if I am far more visual that most women or if James and Marty have no idea what women want and like. 

Retail Therapy

I had to do some retail therapy today. It may have done the trick I'm feeling pretty good and think I'll sleep like a rock. I was bummed because someone told me he was mad at him self for being weak (he was referring to a drunken sexual interlude between us a while back). I felt like he thinks I'm the devil or something. It hurt my feelings. Of course I have no idea what he meant when he said it since men speak MANglish and didn't have my pocket translator.

Self-centered

One of friends--not really a close friend-- has mentioned to me that he is self-centered more than once lately. He may be I don't know him all that well but I keep wondering which women told him he is self-centered. I don't think that's something a man would think about himself. Maybe he is already low on testosterone so he is a little self reflective.

Fall

It is a beautiful morning. The air is crisp and clean. Fall is my favorite time of year. All of the holidays are approaching. I have a lot of wonderful memories of holidays with my son. One year he was the red Power Ranger and I was the pink Power Ranger, My mom made my costume and it was perfect. She's a fantastic seamstress. The cutest costume my son wore was a dragon. He was three and absolutely adorable. And there's Thanksgiving. I like the food but the best thing is being with family. These days my family and Jill's family get together. Jill family is my family now and mine hers. We have been friends for so long and through so much together she is my sister. Christmas was always so much fun when Nick was growing up because each year I had to come up with more clever ways to convince him there is a Santa; other kids at school kept telling him Santa didn't exist. By the time I was three I had figured out there was no Santa and wanted him to have the fantasy for a lot longer than I did. I think it made me feel like if you believe in Santa it means you have this wonderful childhood. It's funny the associations people make that don't really follow any logic or make any sense. I remember one Christmas when Nick was about eight and he was really skeptical--at the time my son was a die hard Dallas Cowboys fan--we opened gifts that were from me on Christmas Eve and the following morning, he fond a Dallas Cowboys football uniform under the tree. He ran into my room and jumped into bed with me, excitedly saying that Santa really exists. He had the biggest smile on his face. He was so happy. I was overjoyed that I was able to keep up the facade.

Gotta new do

Business Expo

I ventured over to the Business Expo in the community center today so I won't need any pens, hand sanitizer, post its, coozies, etc. for a few years.