Lately, I was a little frustrated with myself because a man made it quite clear to me he wants a future with me. I've examined myself and could not understand why I am not interested. I kept going over things in my head and thought why wouldn't I be attracted to a kind man who admires me and is available rather than being heart broken over a man who was not available and gave me many repeatedly told me things weren't going to work out. Then I realized that my admirer isn't really available either. Though I have never encouraged him to have any feelings for me other than friendship, he said he is getting a divorce and thinks we have a future together. I am not sure why I didn't see it all along but the other day I had an epiphany and told Vivi that it's ridiculous to beat myself up because I can't make myself fall for this seemingly available guy because I still feel like someone ripped my heart out of my chest when he is married to someone else so he is not available.
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