Of course I was up at the crack of dawn as usual. I was thinking about the guy who was overtly flirting with me the other night. Some of the questions he asked me were: Are you married? What do you like to do? How far away from the airport are you? Are there things to do in Seabrook? If I have to work the week of Thanksgiving... He definitely was not even trying to play coy or covertly fish for facts. And he told me that people he deals with here in Texas have told him about me. He lives in Detroit and made it a point to tell me that he is in Texas all the time. I was wondering if would be appropriate for me to ask him the same questions, especially since I am his facilitator. I made it a point to tell men in Corpus Christi and Killeen that it was inappropriate for me to eat with them or have a drink with them, yadda, yadda, yadda. Also, in the past, when I have asked men if they were married when they asked me out, they lied. Unless I hire a private dick there is no way I am going to know for sure if a man is lying or not. And, the last guy I went on a few dates with talked about his ex-wife a lot, so, in my mind, he wasn't truly divorced emotionally. He may have been legally divorced -- he didn't show me his divorce papers though he offered and didn't follow through, since he talked about her all the time I thought it was a moot point -- but he was definitely not done with the marriage and he wasn't done telling people all about it, (primarily total strangers) that his wife had affairs, (who knows if that's true but that was his story and he was sticking to it and milking it for all it was worth). I guess everyone needs someone to talk to but it should be a therapist. It's probably less expensive to go on a date and chat someone up about your ex-wife than to pay for therapy and a date but it's a waste of time and terrible turn off for the listener and worse the lost opportunity to be with someone because you're still with your ex.
Then I called Marty because as usual my crack of dawn was his bed time. With my coffee, we talked our mothers (their health), basketball and basketball shoes. Marty has been playing basketball avidly for 40 years. Marty has some You Tube videos posted. There are all kinds of them. He rates basketball shoes. He has made music videos, promos for other comedians, all kinds of stuff... We also started talking about marriage as usual. I told him about this story a guy told me. The guy said not all that long ago, his mother told him that about six months after she married his step father they had a talk and both agreed they had made a mistake and they should not have gotten married. That was about 35 years ago. i asked him why they stayed together. He said he guessed they didn't want to be alone. And maybe they were tired of dating his mom had dated several guys when she and his father divorced. I remember thinking how sad that story was and that those two people had sold out. I thought it seemed like they would realize you only get one shot at this life. They didn't even have that old excuse everyone uses, "I stayed for the kids." It seems like at some point the couple would wake up to reality and think about what a waste their lives were. And that they may have missed out on a chance for a happy life and marriage with their best friends and true companionship rather than convenience. The husband has a maid and the wife has a financier. The husband doesn't have to clean or cook and the wife quit working a shortly after they were married but is that a good trade off; it seems so shallow and compromising. It broke my heart but I think love and loving takes a lot of balls; it is a huge gamble putting your faith in yourself and someone else. When I related the tale to Ronni she thought it was the saddest story she had ever heard. When I was talking to Marty about it this morning, he said he thinks each person is getting what they want out of the marriage so it works for them and apparently works better than some marriages based on love. He reminded me that lots of marriages based on love don't last very long. I said well, that may be true but at least those people had the courage to take a shot at having something fulfilling and real rather than prostituting themselves. I told him that I think I am a little naive about things like that because I want to be with my best friend not some guy who the right job or good investments. For some reason, we started talking about Natalie his ex. He said he doesn't he want to love someone like that again. I told him he is not willing to put himself out there then. And he said he hasn't met that many women he had strong enough feelings for or attraction to that he was willing to put himself out there. I haven't met many men I was truly attracted and I haven't met any men I respected after I got to know them but I am still willing to keep sifting through the left overs (that's mostly what/who is out there at my age, some guy who spent his best years with someone else and has luggage, which includes child support, maybe two mortgages or alimony, years of whatever caused the demise of the marriage, kids who are always pissed their parents got divorced no matter how crappy the marriage was because the world revolves around them, etc.
I'm done writing for a bit and as usual I'm not going to edit. I need to get someone else to do that!!!
Then I called Marty because as usual my crack of dawn was his bed time. With my coffee, we talked our mothers (their health), basketball and basketball shoes. Marty has been playing basketball avidly for 40 years. Marty has some You Tube videos posted. There are all kinds of them. He rates basketball shoes. He has made music videos, promos for other comedians, all kinds of stuff... We also started talking about marriage as usual. I told him about this story a guy told me. The guy said not all that long ago, his mother told him that about six months after she married his step father they had a talk and both agreed they had made a mistake and they should not have gotten married. That was about 35 years ago. i asked him why they stayed together. He said he guessed they didn't want to be alone. And maybe they were tired of dating his mom had dated several guys when she and his father divorced. I remember thinking how sad that story was and that those two people had sold out. I thought it seemed like they would realize you only get one shot at this life. They didn't even have that old excuse everyone uses, "I stayed for the kids." It seems like at some point the couple would wake up to reality and think about what a waste their lives were. And that they may have missed out on a chance for a happy life and marriage with their best friends and true companionship rather than convenience. The husband has a maid and the wife has a financier. The husband doesn't have to clean or cook and the wife quit working a shortly after they were married but is that a good trade off; it seems so shallow and compromising. It broke my heart but I think love and loving takes a lot of balls; it is a huge gamble putting your faith in yourself and someone else. When I related the tale to Ronni she thought it was the saddest story she had ever heard. When I was talking to Marty about it this morning, he said he thinks each person is getting what they want out of the marriage so it works for them and apparently works better than some marriages based on love. He reminded me that lots of marriages based on love don't last very long. I said well, that may be true but at least those people had the courage to take a shot at having something fulfilling and real rather than prostituting themselves. I told him that I think I am a little naive about things like that because I want to be with my best friend not some guy who the right job or good investments. For some reason, we started talking about Natalie his ex. He said he doesn't he want to love someone like that again. I told him he is not willing to put himself out there then. And he said he hasn't met that many women he had strong enough feelings for or attraction to that he was willing to put himself out there. I haven't met many men I was truly attracted and I haven't met any men I respected after I got to know them but I am still willing to keep sifting through the left overs (that's mostly what/who is out there at my age, some guy who spent his best years with someone else and has luggage, which includes child support, maybe two mortgages or alimony, years of whatever caused the demise of the marriage, kids who are always pissed their parents got divorced no matter how crappy the marriage was because the world revolves around them, etc.
I'm done writing for a bit and as usual I'm not going to edit. I need to get someone else to do that!!!
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