Long weekend

This is the start of a long weekend. Once again I am not going home but this time it's not anything to do with me: my mom is sick. She has a cold. I am going to get my life in order this weekend. I am talking about my apartment. Since I work late so frequently, when I am off work I usually choose to work out rather than clean my apartment. I have got to get organized. I have not unpacked my books yet. I didn't take any of my books to work and I don't know if I will since I haven't decided if I am going to stay here or not. I know I am not going to stay if working 10 or 12 hours a day is going to be required. June told a man she knows about me and I told her that I don't even have time to date someone. She sent a photo and he has a beard. Yuck. I hate facial hair. And the shit discovery last week is more than disgusting. i should not have been surprised that fecal matter is in men's beards since men didn't wash their hands in any of the restaurants and clubs where I worked. I know that because we filled up the soap in the men's restrooms about two or three times a year while we filled up the soap in the women's restrooms about once or twice a week. I think June was disappointed. I told her that it is not even fair for me to pretend like I'm going to date someone when I don't have that kind of time. Sometimes I don't get home until 9:00 P.M. My set up with Ron was perfect, he already knew me so I didn't have to do the whole--this is me--get to know me thing. I already knew he wasn't interested in me so I could just be myself. Ron was actually much nicer to me when we weren't supposed to be dating and in a relationship. He was much more considerate. When we dated he didn't even help me carry my bags in his house after my first visit but thought his buddy in Austin was a jackass because he didn't carry his baby in the restaurant one time. He noticed his friend was inconsiderate was totally in denial about himself. I liked that I could just call Ron and ask him to come over and have sex and he would. But just like when we dated it went south. I guess you can get too much of a good thing. He did me a favor I guess: it's probably not good to have sex with someone who hates you. I had told myself that I wouldn't sell myself short meaning I would not be with someone who didn't like me as a person and want to be my best friend and I did do it with Ron so I deserve what I got. he had let me know that when he came to Corpus and laughed at my honest answer when he asked what I expected from a relationship and I overlooked it hoping that he was insecure. If someone is willing to go out on a limb for then I can't do it for him. I'm sick of having to be the one with balls.