When Marty and I were talking about his journal, he told me he is different than he was when he was dating and writing in the journal out in L.A. He said he used to want to be with someone and part of a family and now, he doesn't know if he wants that anymore. Then he said maybe that's not true because he got very attached to this girl he met on OKCupid. And I reminded him that she wasn't really available and the woman who does make herself available to him, he doesn't want. I made the comment that maybe he wanted the OKCupid girl because she wasn't available and he doesn't want the other woman because she is. I told him the last time I went on a date it was with someone I met on OKCupid too and he was not available to me. I said I wondered if he and I are afraid of being in a real relationship with someone so we go for people of the opposite sex who are not available and so we set ourselves up for failure from the get go and that way we don't get hurt as badly as we would if we were vested in people who are truly vested in us. It's not the people we choose to be interested in who are unavailable it's us.
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