1. I don’t want to hurt you. = I’m going to hurt you.
2. I think it’s time to take our relationship to another level.= It’s time to have sex or we won’t be seeing each other again.
3. I was thinking about it and I have to make a change of plans: I won’t be coming to see you or make it to the movie with you, etc.= Something better came up and I want to do that instead of seeing you.
4. I tried to distance myself and realize now that that was a mistake.= I’m horny.
5. I don’t want to get married right now. = I don’t want to marry you.
6. I’m available if you need something. = Either: I want to have sex with you or I just want to keep having sex with you.
7. I want you to be able to talk about anything with me. = I just want you to keep having sex with me and I'm hoping you’ll start blowing me.
8. I’ll take you to the Barbie Convention if you want to go. = Please don’t stop sucking my dick.
9. Don’t put that picture on Facebook. = I’m not supposed to be here with you, everyone I know thinks I'm somewhere else, (especially the other woman I'm also seeing).
10. I don’t believe in soul mates. = You’re not the one.
11. I need to change plans, sorry but I’ve got to finish the siding on my garage this weekend. = It’s over. Almost anything would be better than spending time with you.
12. I’ve been very fortunate = I have a lot of money that you probably won’t ever get or I’m pretending to have a lot of money.
13. I am looking for a soul mate = I don’t have anyone to clean my house or do my laundry.
14. I’m intelligent = I see myself as superior and you should too.
15. I am looking for an independent woman = Don’t think for a second that I am going to support you.
16. I’m easy going = My ex-wife said I was an uptight asshole all the time.
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