Why it took me so long to earn my master's degree

I met someone. It was the first time I felt like I had a connection to someone since I entered the Army. The only thing was I had gone on a couple of dates with his roommate. And, more importantly, I had just decided to concentrate on my friends instead of going on dates. There were a lot of men, I never knew the ratio of men to women but there were more men than women--or at least it sure seemed like it-- so I had been on plenty of dates. I was sick of dating for the sake of dating. I remember thinking it was a shame I had not met John before I made the decision to stop dating for a while and there was his roommate, Matt.

A couple of days later, I found out I was the topic of conversation in John’s class. My roommate was in John’s Polish class at the Defense Language Institute (DLI). I wouldn’t say my roommate was friends with John and Matt, it was more like she had unwarranted crushes on them and some of the other guys in her class. According to my roommate, John told Matt he would like to ask me out if he wouldn’t mind. My roommate told them I would not go out with John since I had gone on a couple of dates with Matt and I knew she had a crush on John. So I thought that was the end of that. But it was the beginning.

After the dust settled, I did go out with John. We dated for about six months. A few months into the relationship I got pregnant. John was not interested in getting married or being a father so I packed up my three hundred dollar car to head back to Oklahoma to start my life as a single mother. I did not know what was going to happen or what I was going to do other than raise my son the best I could. I had a feeling my baby was a boy already. I don’t know why. I remember feeling like someone had ripped my heart out of my chest when I was driving away from DLI and John. It would be so nice to think back and say I was full of promise but I was scared to death. And I felt so alone in the whole endeavor.

It took me a very long time to come to terms with my situation. Eventually, I did accept my life for what it was and still is as it has evolved. I think I only had the courage to take on the challenges of being a single mother because I didn’t understand them. If I had known all the ramifications of my decision to keep my son and raise him I might not have had the courage. I am so happy I made the decision to be his mother but I think he raised me as much as I raised him so we grew up together.